I know it may be a little late to write a Halloween story in December, but Voodoo Fest in the dirty little city of New Orleans always seems to spark a delayed surge of inspiration and creativity.

This year’s lineup wasn’t the best in Voodoo history, but the vibes were right and the atmosphere couldn’t have been better for the 2009 Fest.

There was an open bar in the press area. (Party – bonus!) I find it’s best to get acquainted with your bartender. A bartender can be your best friend, if you treat him right.

Also, because it’s an open bar, this guy was working for tips only, and despite what Oprah says, tipping 10 percent is just not acceptable. (Especially at an open bar. Ten percent of nothing is … yep: nothing.)

By the end of the first night, the bartender and I were tight. I was smoking him out, throwing him some tip money … basically taking care of the guy who was taking care of me and my drinking. It’s always good to have a bartender looking out for you.

Saturday night, Halloween, we were all on an extreme high (thanks to the bag of Kush I managed to score the day before) after the Jane’s Addiction show. Dave Navarro and Perry Farrell’s performance of “Jane Says” was absolutely spectacular and an obvious choice to close out a truly remarkable Halloween show.

I was at the bar, shooting the sh–t with my bartender, having a great time reliving the events of the day, and gearing up to go see KISS when this unbelievable bitch approached the bar with a couple other people. Apparently, she was the manager of Gogol Bordello, a crazy awesome, Eastern European, Gypsy, funky, punky rock band that played earlier that day.

The band was great; however, this bitch was not. She kept throwing in everyone’s face: “I’m the manager of Gogol Bordello, I’m the manager of Gogol Bordello, I can do and say whatever I want, and you have to like me because I’m the manager of Gogol Bordello.”

Finally, I had had enough of her stuck-up, ugly on the inside and outside, I’m-better-than-you bullsh–t. “I’m sorry, what did you say you did?” I asked sarcastically.

Too bad the egotistical narcissist didn’t see this blow coming. Of course, everyone else around the bar was waiting for it, collectively holding their breath.

“Well, I’m the manager of Gogol Bordello,” she replied in a condescending tone.

“Oh,” I said. “So which one are you f–king?”

The six or seven people around the bar erupted with laughter, and one guy in the background remarked, “Oh, you got told, bitch.”

Her face turned beet red, so either she was embarrassed because she knew my statement was dead on or she was just pissed that someone would have the audacity to speak to her that way. Obviously, she didn’t grasp the fact that I’m an audacious motherf–ker.

She tried to signal the bartender to cut me off, but he was already pouring two shots of tequila in celebration – one for me and one for him. We watched the “manager” scoff and stomp away as we downed our shots.

“You’re f–king crazy, dude,” the bartender said. He had just come to that realization and appreciated the a–hole that I can be.

So here’s the quick rundown on Voodoo:

1. •Lil Brian & the Zydeco Travelers did an awesome rendition of Bob Marley’s “No Woman No Cry” mixed with The Rolling Stones’ “Beast of Burden” that featured one of the coolest accordion solos I’d ever heard.
   

2. •The Cool Kids and The Black Keys were both really dope. The Cool Kids entered the stage with UNLV’s “Bad Ass Yella Boy” playing in the background.
   

3. •I got rained on for Silversun Pickups.
   

4. •Eminem was fun, intense, and engaging. Surprisingly, one of the best shows of the weekend. Unfortunately, he played at the same time as Ween.
   

5. •MuteMath is always a blast, a fun, high-energy show.
   

6. •Gogol Bordello was fantastic, except for the manager.
   

7. •Jane’s Addiction: another band that brought its A game.
   

8. •KISS got kinda boring, so I left to see George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic. That show was crazy. The opening song was 30 minutes long and all instrumental.
   

9. •Saturday night was a rough one, so I got a late start on Sunday, catching the second half of Widespread Panic. They did what they always do – jam.
   

10. •The Flaming Lips spoke to my soul with crazy stage antics and down-to-earth messages from lead vocalist Wayne Coyne. If you ever get the chance to see this band, don’t miss it – a seriously out-of-this-world experience.
    

11. •And, of course, Lenny Kravitz, a late addition to the original lineup, was well worth it. He brought down the house with his high-energy performance. He also had the help of local musician Trombone Shorty.
    

All in all, it was a great weekend, and another successful Voodoo Festival is in the books.

Happy Friday and Christmas and New Year to all.