In this new cellular age with phones, texting, mobile Facebook, and Twitter, where everything starts with a lowercase “i,” we need to establish proper etiquette. It’s important, for all of us, to know when and where we can use our cell phones without being rude, inconsiderate jackasses.

First thing first: Obviously, there’s a lot of controversy surrounding cell phone use and driving. I know it pisses ME off when I have to swerve and dodge cars on the interstate because of a teenage girl texting on her phone at 80 mph, drifting lazily from lane to lane… It is never a good idea to use your phone while driving.

However, I do have to set the record straight. I’ve been guilty of texting, talking, and tweeting on my phone while driving. It’s hard enough to drink and drive, but when you add an iPhone into the mix, you’re asking for trouble.

After wrecking my truck twice while using my phone, you’d think I would’ve learned my lesson by now, but no… Last week I got in another accident, rear-ending someone while playing words with friends on my iPhone. I guess some people are better multitaskers than others…

One of the most inconsiderate times to talk on your phone is when you’re working a drive-through window. Sometimes the attitude of a drive-through employee is so bad… It’s one thing to just be talking on the phone at work, but when you get mad at a customer for asking you to do your job, that’s a different story.

Really? You are at work, on the clock, someone else is paying you to take my food order, and you get pissed because I interrupted your personal phone call? That’s bullsh—t. Do your job and do it with a smile. You should be happy you have a job and can afford a cell phone.

But these instances are nothing compared to what I saw while waiting in line at AutoZone the other day. I witnessed the poorest excuse of phone etiquette I have ever seen.

There were only three people in the store: the clerk, a woman on her cell phone, and me. The woman was ahead of me in line, and when she approached the desk, the clerk said, “Ma’am, I’ll be happy to help you as soon as you hang up your phone.”

“Look, it’s an important call, and I have my money right here,” she said.

He just looked at her and folded his arms.

“Excuse me. I’m gonna have to call you back,” she said into the phone. “Someone is being rude over here, making me hang up the phone.” She hung up and handed the clerk her money.

He didn’t want to let the situation go. “Ma’am, I was not being rude by asking you to get off your phone. You were the one being rude talking on the phone while we are trying to conduct business.”

She immediately retorted, “No. It would be rude if I was being loud and obnoxious and attracting all kinds of attention at me!” By this time her tone had shifted from mildly inconvenienced to loud and obnoxious. “You don’t even much know. Can I just have my change please?”

His tone and demeanor were saying, “F—k you!” but the words that came out were, “God bless you!” He handed her the change and she walked out.

“Next in line, please.”

I walked up to the desk, and he started ringing my stuff up. “Uh. Some people…” he said.

The phone started ringing. “AutoZone, this is Mike. How can I help you? Oh, hey, Rhonda! You would not believe the customer I just had,” he continued into the phone. “She was so rude…”

Then he cupped the bottom of the phone and whispered over the counter to me, “That’s gonna be $22, sir.” Then he went back to his phone call.

Unbelievable! This little prick went through all that sh—t with the customer before me, just to turn around and do the same thing to me.

The truth is, we’re all guilty of poor cell phone etiquette at one point or another in our lives. The best way to exercise good etiquette is by simply being considerate of those around us.

Have a Happy Friday and don’t forget to practice safe and courteous cell phone use!