If this month’s installment of the BACS were an episode of Sesame Street, it’d be sponsored by the number two. No, it’s not because the contestants were so drunk they saw two of everything (although that’s a possibility). It’s because we have several honorable mentions, all of whom have something to do with the number two.

First, there’s 29-year-old Elsa Veisor of South Windsor, Connecticut, who was charged with drunk driving twice in one night. Veisor was initially booked with operating under the influence by Farmington Police around 1 a.m. on April 18 after an officer reportedly found her, apparently drunk, behind the wheel of a parked car with the engine running. Police said Veisor’s blood-alcohol content was twice the legal limit.

They then confiscated her license and suspended her driving privileges for 24 hours. When they released her on $1,500 bail, authorities thought she was getting a ride from a friend. However, Veisor must not have any friends willing to pick her up from jail at o’dark-thirty, because she was pulled over again just before 4 a.m., only about a half-mile from where she was arrested three hours earlier. Maybe she was going back to finish marking her territory.

Police said Veisor was given a second breath test, which registered slightly lower than the first test, but her blood-alcohol level was still above the legal limit of 0.08. Veisor was charged with another count of operating under the influence, as well as operating with a suspended license.

Closer to home, a New Iberia man also joined the DWI 2-for-1 Happy Hour Club when he was charged with his second and third driving while intoxicated offenses on April 3. Sergio Vargas, 30, experienced déjà vu-vu-voom by reportedly leaving the scene of two car crashes that occurred less than 30 minutes apart.

The Iberia Parish Sheriff’s Office said, in the first crash, Vargas rear-ended a stopped vehicle at an intersection. The front bumper and a Texas license plate came off of Vargas’ vehicle as a result.

Minutes later, Vargas was reportedly involved in another crash on the same street, not far from his home. Police said Vargas also fled from the scene of the second crash, but was found in his vehicle not far from the site.

Authorities said Vargas had a blood-alcohol level of almost 0.24, nearly three times the legal limit. Police also said Vargas, who’s from Mexico, was not able to prove he is a legal resident and was subsequently charged with two counts of operating a vehicle without lawful presence in the United States, along with two counts of hit and run, to go along with his two DWI charges.

According to court documents, Vargas was charged with first-offense DWI in Iberia Parish in December 2004. In May 2005, he pled guilty and was placed on one year of supervised probation. At last check, Vargas was still incarcerated at the Iberia Parish Correctional Center. His bond was set at $125,000, or roughly 1.66 million Mexican pesos.

Then we have Kile Wygle of Newark, Ohio, who was arrested in March for drunk driving on a motorized bar stool (custom-made, of course). According to police, the 28-year-old Wygle called 911 seeking medical attention for injuries he suffered from crashing his bar stool near his home. When an officer arrived on the scene and asked what happened, Wygle answered, “I wrecked my bar stool.”

The Newark Police Division report states that Wygle’s homemade ride is powered by a 5-hp Briggs and Stratton lawn mower engine attached to the frame. The report also mentions four wheels connected to a gear box and a steering wheel from a Craftsman lawn mower, in case you were thinking about designing one for yourself.

When an officer asked how much alcohol he had to drink, Wygle slurred, “A lot.” In fact, according to the report, he was asked that three times. All three times, he answered, “A lot,” before telling his arresting officer he estimated he drank about 15 beers in the two hours prior to crashing … his bar stool.

Wygle told police that his creation topped out at 38 mph, which is probably why he installed a wheelie bar on the back. That also means that he’s gone 38 mph on it. He told police, though, he was only going about 20 when he wrecked.

After failing a series of field sobriety tests, Wygle was charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license. As for the bar stool, it survived the crash with no apparent injuries.

Oh, and if you’re still wondering what Wygle and his bar stool have to do with our “number two” theme, it’s the stool. Number two and stool go together … euphemistically. Get it? No? Who are you? Kanye West?

In keeping with this month’s theme of the number two, we’ve assigned each BACS participant a famous pair.

Our top ten contestants were arrested and booked for suspicion of driving while intoxicated according to The Advocate reports from March 23 – April 19, 2009.

10. Jeremy C., 28, 1st-offense DWI, possession of Schedule II drugs, possession of Schedule IV drugs, and legend drug sale/possession.

There are actually several pairs that befit Jeremy – Johnson & Johnson, Eli & Lilly, Bristol & Myers, etc.

9. Oliver B., 58, 3rd-offense DWI and simple battery.

Oliver’s pair is Ali & Frazier. They also met three times and got punch-drunk.

8. Jeremy Ryan B., 32, 2nd-offense DWI, flight from an officer, resisting an officer, helmet required, headlights required, driver’s license required, public intimidation, and off-road vehicle on roadway.

Jeremy gets the famous twosome Cease & Desist.

7. Dustin Keith W., 28, 3rd-offense DWI, speeding, reckless operation of a vehicle, driver’s license not on person, and resisting an officer.

Dustin likes to get bombed. That’s why his pair is Hiroshima & Nagasaki.

6. Jeremy Patrick J., 27, 3rd-offense DWI, speeding, driver’s license suspended/revoked, reckless operation of a vehicle, and possession of an alcoholic beverage in a vehicle.

Jeremy Patrick is such a giant boob, his pair is Pam Anderson’s breasts.

5. Kenneth James G., 41, 4th-offense DWI and failure to maintain control.

Kenneth gets Gin & Tonic … quite often, too.

4. Saul R., 39, 4th-offense DWI, driving left of center, and driver’s license required.

Since Señor Saul seems to enjoy spending time with government officials, his pair is Chico & the Man.

3. Brandon L., 38, 3rd-offense DWI, driving left of center, seat-belt violation, reckless operation of a vehicle, possession of Schedule IV drugs, resisting an officer, and driver’s license required.

Brandon’s pair is Bacon & Eggs because he likes getting fried.

2. Jamie Paul G., 34, 3rd-offense DWI, improper lane usage, possession of an alcoholic beverage in a vehicle, driver’s license suspended/revoked, and third-offense possession of marijuana.

Cheech & Chong is Jamie Paul’s famous duo.

1. Jeremy Keith N., 32, 4th-offense DWI, obstruction of a public highway, driver’s license suspended/revoked, registration required in vehicle, inspection sticker expired, and license plate required.

Jeremy Keith has been booked so many times, he’s been given the team of Barnes & Noble, along with the Judge Don Johnson Trophy.