It seems that a proposal to bust suspected drunken drivers by placing undercover cops at fast-food restaurant drive-thru windows in Pima County, Arizona, got the officer in charge of stopping DUI offenders there a little too excited. As a result, he prematurely pulled a Peter North and blew his load – of misinformation, that is – all over the internet.

The problem began when the Arizona Daily Star initially contacted the special operations commander, Lt. Karl Woolridge, for a comment on a story about Operation Would U Like Fries, or Operation WULF, last month, after the newspaper learned about the program from an internal Sheriff’s Department memo. However, Woolridge instructed Sgt. Doug Hanna, the DUI unit supervisor, to respond. Woolridge would soon find out that delegation without communication leads to consternation.

Even though Operation WULF was, according to Woolridge, only “in the concept stage,” Hanna waxed convincingly about the program. He told the paper several local franchise owners and managers had agreed to let undercover deputies work their drive-thru windows – where they could spot impaired drivers placing orders – and that they were waiting for corporate approval before going forward with the plan. Hanna also said that he had plans to approach the owners of local restaurants that have drive-thru windows within the subsequent two weeks.

According to Hanna, if a deputy working a drive-thru window as part of Operation WULF noticed someone with symptoms of impairment (slurred speech, red or watery eyes, beer breath) he would radio a uniformed deputy positioned right outside. The second deputy would pull over the driver and arrest him or her if field tests confirmed what the first deputy in the paper hat originally suspected.

We’re not sure how well Operation WULF would have worked, anyway. Most people could probably tell fairly easily if the person taking their order were an undercover police officer. The correct change would be a dead giveaway.

Despite Woolridge’s insistence that the program “was never more than an idea, and the sheriff (Clarence Dupnik) would never have approved it,” Hanna told the Star that Operation WULF had been approved by his chain of command and the Pima County Attorney’s Office. In fact, he said it would be funded by a $128,000 grant from the Governor’s Office of Highway Safety.

As for why the sergeant went into such detail about a program that would never be put into practice, Woolridge said Hanna must have been “just speculating” that the plan would have been approved once the details were worked out.

Hopefully, Hanna is able to speculate about a driver’s intoxication with better precision than he can speculate about the implementation of proposed anti-drunken-driving initiatives.

Our top ten contestants were arrested and booked for suspicion of driving while intoxicated according to The Advocate reports from April 20 – May 24, 2009.

Additionally, as a tribute to the King of Pop, we’ve assigned each of them a Michael Jackson song. After all, he was the one who gave us the term “Jesus juice.”

10. Tiffany L., 23, 1st-offense DWI, wrong way on a one-way street, expired motor vehicle inspection, and battering a police officer.

Tiffany’s song is “Can You Feel It” because after pulling off a vehicular moonwalk on a one-way street and subsequently battering her arresting officer, that’s what she asked him. Fortunately for him, Tiffany hits like a girl. Go on girl! Aaow!

9. Vinal James S., 62, 2nd-offense DWI, careless driving, improper left/right turns, improper lane usage, and failure to change address on driver’s license.

Because of his erratic driving, Vinal James gets “Ease on Down the Road.” That song was performed by Michael Jackson in The Wiz, which is what Vinal James sometimes takes on the side of the road (that he’s easing down) due to his enlarged prostate. It was also released on vinyl, a medium that Vinal’s parents apparently liked very much.

8. Lauren Michelle D., 22, 2nd-offense DWI, improper left/right turn, and improper lane usage.

Lauren’s song is “Thriller” since she likes to drink herself into a zombie-like state. Plus, the morning after, she kind of looks like one of the undead and sounds like Vincent Price. Aah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

7. Ronald M., 43, 2nd-offense DWI, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, driver’s license suspended/revoked, and flight from an officer.

For flight from an officer, Ronald gets the lesser-known single “Fly Away.” We’d have given him “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” but he slurs the “Mama-se, mama-sa, mama-ma-coo-sa” part too much.

6. Jeremy Paul C., 28, 3rd-offense DWI, driving left of center, and driver’s license expired.

Despite his best efforts to woo the ladies at the bar, Jeremy Paul often goes home alone. That’s why his song is “Beat It.”

5. Gregory M., 49, 4th-offense DWI, improper lane usage, and reckless operation of a vehicle.

Rumor has it that Gregory owes back child support. His song is “Billie Jean.”

4. Damian James F., 24, 4th-offense DWI, reckless operation of a vehicle, and failure to maintain control.

Damian James is “Bad.” And he likes to say “shamon” a lot, too.

3. Jesse B., 27, 4th-offense DWI, improper lane usage, reckless operation of a vehicle, inspection sticker expired, resisting an officer, and battery of a police officer.

Ask any police officer or pedestrian and he’ll agree that Jesse is “Dangerous.”

2. Dean S., 51, 5th-offense DWI and speeding.

Due to his drinking habits, Dean gets the hit “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough.” Actually, though, Dean doesn’t stop til he’s had more than enough.

1. Christopher Paul D., 33, 3rd-offense DWI, aggravated flight from an officer, simple burglary, attempted first-degree murder, battering a police officer, resisting an officer, reckless operation of a vehicle, auto theft, and simple assault.

Christopher Paul is a “Smooth Criminal.” We can only hope and pray that Annie really is OK.