This month’s installment of the BACS is our first-ever international version. One of two honorable mentions hails from Europe. We start, though, on this side of the pond in a state that some less-educated Americans believe is a foreign country – New Mexico.

Late last month, not far from Santa Fe, a state police lieutenant spotted a man lying on the ground underneath his car on the side of the highway. At first, he appeared to be taking a roadside siesta, but when the officer approached, it appeared that the man was using a shoestring to tie down the hood. Police suspect he may have hit something instead of the hay.

Police say (and a dash cam showed) that the man, 51-year-old Vigil Delano, was coherent and able to stand up straight and walk a bit, but had slurred speech, prompting the officer to conduct a sobriety test.

The result showed Delano had a blood-alcohol level of 0.393, or five times the legal limit. Medical experts believe that a level of 0.4 could hinder breathing, induce coma, or even take a person’s life. That’s probably why he was immediately taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital.

The fact that Vigil was able to walk and talk with a nearly fatal amount of alcohol in his bloodstream wasn’t the most staggering part of his arrest. No, the most staggering part is the fact that this was the 22nd time Vigil’s been arrested for drunken driving.

Records show Vigil’s been arrested five times in the Land of Enchantment and at least 16 times elsewhere. He was ultimately booked into the Santa Fe County jail.

Vigil may have killed too many brain cells to realize it, but he’s a very lucky man. First, he’s lucky to have a bionic liver. Second, he’s fortunate to live in a state like New Mexico with a 23-strikes rule for drunken driving.

Our other, continental boozer & cruiser is a former butcher who was arrested for drunken driving near Bordeaux, France. Imagine that: a drunken driver in French wine country.

Pascal Brun stopped working as a butcher in 2004 after winning a 26-million-euro ($37 million) jackpot in the EuroMillions lottery. Since then, he’s been collecting Italian sports cars. It was in one of these high-performance machines – a bright yellow Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano – that he was arrested along France’s Atlantic coast.

The incident started when Brun caused a traffic jam after double-parking his Ferrari while he went shopping at a resort. Brun reportedly was just as big a tool before he won the millions.

When the police asked him to move the vehicle, he reportedly roared off in the Ferrari and zigzagged down the street while officers gave chase.

Somehow, they eventually caught up to him and his Ferrari. That’s when they noticed that Brun was intoxicated. In fact, a Breathalyzer test reportedly showed him to be four times over the legal limit.

Brun was sober enough, however, to invite the two traffic wardens to his house for an aperitif (it’s Europe) and offer each of them 1,000 euros to forget the whole matter. Well, they didn’t forget the matter, and days later, Brun was sentenced to three months in jail after being convicted of drunken driving and attempted bribery.

The former butcher was also ordered to pay 500 euros in damages to each police officer. Yeah, that’ll teach him to offer a bribe at twice that value. And surely those cops aren’t kicking themselves for not taking Brun’s offer.

Well, back here in America, September means it’s football season. With that in mind, we’ve given each of our top ten BACS contenders a drunken football cheer or fight song. We’re not sure if they’ll get ESPN in jail, though.

Our top ten contestants were arrested and booked for suspicion of driving while intoxicated according to The Advocate reports from July 27 – August 23, 2009.

10. Carl B., 69, 1st-offense DWI, open-container violation, possession of Schedule III drugs, and hit-and-run.

“Hit him again! Hit him again! Harder! Harder!!!”

9. Keith William S., 20, 2nd-offense DWI, no light on license plate, and driver’s license not on person.

“Two pints! Four pints! Six pints o’ Guinness! All for the Tigers, fall down and vomit!”

8. McKenzy Leah S., 28, 2nd-offense DWI, improper lane usage, driver’s license suspended/revoked, failure to register vehicle, and flight from an officer.

“Defense! (clap, clap) Defense attorney defense! (clap, clap)”

7. Robert Lawrence S., 43, 2nd-offense DWI, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, resisting an officer, and fugitive from justice.

“Ice-cold beer makes you want to cheer! Ice-cold gin makes you want to win! Ice-cold duck makes you want to ffffffffight!”

6. Larry H., 60, 3rd-offense DWI, driver’s license not on person, driver’s license suspended/revoked, and stopping on a roadway.

“Blow into a tube! Look at the analyzer! Over the limit? Have another Budweiser!”

5. Stephen Michael L., 53, 3rd-offense DWI and possession of an alcoholic beverage in a vehicle.

Stephen Michael is reportedly a Kansas fan. His drunken cheer is “Rock. Chalk walk. Jayhawk.”

4. Kenneth J., 50, 3rd-offense DWI, speeding, and possession of an alcoholic beverage in a vehicle.

“First-offense, second-offense, third-offense drunk driving. You didn’t win the trophy, but thanks for trying!”

3. Devin R., 22, 1st-offense DWI, possession of marijuana, distribution/manufacturing of Schedule III drugs, two counts of possession/distribution/manufacturing of Schedule II drugs, and speeding.

“D-W-I! You ain’t got no alibi! You drunk!”

2. Billy K., 27, 4th-offense DWI, improper lane usage, and driver’s license required.

“Woo, pig, sooie!” No, Billy is not a Razorback fan. That’s just his mating call at closing time.

1. Sherman P., 50, 5th-offense DWI, driver’s license suspended/revoked, and reckless operation of a vehicle.

Sherman loves orange-and-white-checkerboard end zones, the capital letter T, and fine Cognac. His fight song is “Pop a Top of Hennessy.”