Valentine’s Day is great if you’re with someone you love. If you’re alone and horny, though, it can be downright miserable.

In fact, the annual observance dedicated to romance sometimes prompts lonely singles to take desperate measures in order to not be so alone. This month’s BACS honorable mention apparently falls into this category.

It seems that Denise Rutledge of Flagler Beach, Florida, initially tried to drown her forlornness with copious amounts of alcohol a couple of days before Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, the booze evidently made her even hornier, because she then tried to make a booty call at the local jail.

Authorities say, on February 12, the 45-year-old Rutledge drove to the Flagler County Inmate Facility, where she requested a conjugal visit with a specific inmate.

While she did have a visitation appointment with an inmate there, she was denied her chance to hook up for two reasons. First, it was after visiting hours. Second, the jail does not allow conjugal visits.

The Flagler County Sheriff’s Office says Rutledge drove off after being turned away, before returning for a second attempt to rendezvous with her incarcerated amour.

That’s what happens on Valentine’s Day when you’re single, drunk, horny, and skanky: You beg to be let into prison just so you can get some.

After Rutledge drove back to the jail, corrections officers summoned a road patrol because they suspected she had been drinking. When deputies arrived, they found her sitting in her car. She eventually failed a field sobriety test, and a Breathalyzer showed her blood-alcohol content was 0.256, more than three times the legal limit.

Police finally let her into jail after booking her with driving under the influence. She was later released (still yearning for some hot prison sex, we assume) after posting $500 bail.

In all honesty, we must applaud authorities at the Flagler County Inmate Facility for denying Rutledge’s conjugal visit. Allowing her to copulate with a prisoner could be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

As for this month’s top ten accused drunk drivers, after watching the Olympics in Vancouver, we’ve decided to assign each of them an Olympic sport. We could have done it last month to coincide with the Winter Games, but we were a bit distracted by another sporting event at the time. It was some sort of football game in Miami, perhaps?

Our top ten contestants were arrested and booked for suspicion of driving while intoxicated according to The Advocate reports from January 25 – February 21, 2010.

10. Lauren M., 22, 1st-offense DWI, improper window tint, reckless operation of a vehicle, and equipment violation.
Lauren is a biathlete. After a night of hard drinking, she’s been known to go home with both men and women.

9. Beritell O., 46, 1st-offense DWI, battery on a police officer, resisting an officer, and entering and remaining after being forbidden.
When it comes to the sport of curling, Beritell’s a natural. He has huge stones made of granite. Plus, once he’s in the house, it’s hard to get him out.

8. Leonardo C., 28, 1st-offense DWI, failure to signal/improper turn, driving left of center, driver’s license suspended/revoked, possession of marijuana, fleeing to elude police, and failure to obey stop sign/yield sign.
Leonardo is a cross-country skier. He likes participating in the 30 km pursuit with the cops.

7. Chad B., 37, 1st-offense DWI, possession of Schedule II drugs, narcotics paraphernalia, sale and use, open-container violation, and urinating in public.
Chad’s sport is freestyle skiing. Specifically, his event is aerials, because he enjoys flipping out while he’s high as a kite. Sometimes, though, it can literally scare the piss out of you.

6. Verniss D., 28, 2nd-offense DWI, drag racing on a public road, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, reckless operation of a vehicle, possession of alcoholic beverage in a vehicle, driver’s license required, and negligent vehicular injuring.
Verniss is a lot like American short track speed skating superstar Apolo Anton Ohno. He’s fast, he’s dangerous, and when people see him coming, they scream “Oh no!”

5. Richard G., 42, 4th-offense DWI, seat-belt violation, and reckless operation of a vehicle.
Richard’s sport is figure skating, but unlike other skaters that perform the triple Salchow, he occasionally pulls off the triple Sow-Cow, which is a three-way with a couple of fat chicks.

4. James B., 26, 3rd-offense DWI, motor vehicle insurance required/expired, driver’s license suspended/revoked, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, and possession of drug paraphernalia.
According to “unnamed sources,” when he gets tipsy, James likes to experiment with the two-man luge. In fact, he’s been known to “luge” with other dudes in public restrooms.

3. Dexter D., 21, 3rd-offense DWI, battery of a police officer, simple criminal damage to property, reckless operation of a vehicle, and resisting an officer.
Dexter’s winter sport is ice hockey, and it looks like he’ll be spending some time in the penalty box for roughing.

2. Keith V., 28, 3rd-offense DWI, possession of marijuana, possession of Schedule I drugs, and failure to dim headlights.
Keith’s snowboarding specialty is the half-pipe. It started as a whole pipe, but he smoked the other half.

1. Steven S., 30, 4th-offense DWI, reckless operation of a vehicle, possession of Schedule II drugs, driver’s license suspended/revoked, and U-turn violation.
Steven is an alpine skier. The downhill is his specialty since that’s where his family says his life is headed.