We get a real kick when cops, especially ones from Louisiana, get arrested for drunk driving. It just shows that the BACS is so much fun, sometimes even the men and women sworn to be the sport’s neutral arbiters can’t resist joining the fray.

This time, the official-turned-participant is a member of the Shreveport Police Department. And, as part of a 2-for-1 bonus, the person he smashed into was subsequently arrested for drug possession.

According to The Shreveport Times, 32-year-old Kevin W. Duck was driving his personal GMC pickup north on Hearne Avenue when his vehicle collided with a GMC sedan driven by 42-year-old Carolyn Blake, who was motoring east on Milam Street. The impact of the crash was reportedly strong enough to force Blake’s sedan to strike the curb and roll onto its side.

Further investigation of the incident revealed that Duck had “objective symptoms associated with DWI.” In other words, police noticed Duck acting a bit “daffy.”

Meanwhile, during an inventory search of Blake’s car, officers found a clear plastic bag containing a green leafy substance under the driver’s seat. Apparently, it wasn’t a secret stash of catnip for her calico kitty, because Blake was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana.

As for Duck, he was transported to the Shreveport Police Department’s traffic bureau for further testing, where he was formally charged with driving while intoxicated. Subsequently, the six-year SPD veteran was placed on paid administrative leave pending the outcome of an investigation of the incident.

We’re wondering if Duck will get a citation from the department. After all, even though he was allegedly drunk and off-duty at the time, he still managed to help get another dangerous drug user off the streets of Ratchet City. And we all know that even a small amount of weed is far more dangerous than an intoxicated cop behind the wheel of a car, or at least that’s what the sentencing laws on the books tell us.

Of course, Duck isn’t the only cop in danger of losing his badge over a minor incident with a woman. Martial arts expert, movie star, and part-time Jefferson Parish police officer Steven Seagal may soon no longer be a “lawman.” The Reserve Deputy Chief could be stripped of his commission if Kayden Nguyen gets her way in court.

The 23-year-old former model claims in a suit that, immediately after hiring her as an executive assistant, Seagal treated her “as his sex toy.” In her $1-million-plus lawsuit, Nguyen asserts that she was invited to join Seagal’s harem, which included two young Russian female “attendants” who were available 24-7 for sex with the pudgy Asian wannabe, and that she was actually brought in to be a replacement for one of them.

While Seagal is trying to give a swift roundhouse to Nguyen’s charges, Jefferson Parish Sheriff Newell Normand has suspended his A&E show Steven Seagal: Lawman.

In order to fill the void left by his absence on TV, we’ve decided to assign each of our top ten BACS contestants a Steven Seagal movie title. Hopefully, you’ll get a real kick out of it.

Our top ten contestants were arrested and booked for suspicion of driving while intoxicated according to The Advocate reports from March 22 — April 25, 2010.

10. Jesus G.-S., 32, 1st-offense DWI, driver’s license required, reckless operation of a vehicle, escape, operation of a vehicle without lawful presence, and seatbelt violation.
For rather obvious reasons, Jesus’ Seagal movie is The Foreigner.

9. Joshua S., 21, 2nd-offense DWI, driving wrong way on a one-way street, headlights required, license plate required, motor vehicle inspection required, and equipment violation.
Joshua likes driving at night with his headlights off. He gets Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. Plus, since he drove the wrong way down a one-way street and the movie ended with two trains colliding head-on, it seems doubly appropriate.

8. Victor W., 47, 1st-offense DWI, possession of marijuana, possession of a firearm with illegal drugs, and failure to maintain control of a vehicle.
Victor likes to get loaded. Pistol Whipped is his film.

7. Jermaine K., 35, 1st-offense DWI, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, disobeying a red light, hit and run, possession of Schedule I drugs, reckless operation of a vehicle, possession of Schedule III drugs, and driver’s license suspended/revoked.
His arresting officer would probably agree that Jermaine is A Dangerous Man.

6. Brian K., 27, 1st-offense DWI, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, motor vehicle inspection required/expired, driver’s license not on person, illegal possession of stolen things, simple obstruction of a public highway, reckless operation of a vehicle, disobeying a red light, theft, resisting an officer, proof of insurance required, and flight from an officer.
Brian’s DWI arrest incident sounds like a real Flight of Fury.

5. Roy C., 48, 4th-offense DWI, improper lane usage, driver’s license suspended/revoked, and refusal of a chemical test.
Why would Roy unlawfully refuse to submit to a chemical test? Maybe it’s because he thinks he’s Above the Law.

4. Michael A., 27, 4th-offense DWI, driver’s license suspended/revoked, driving over the median, and misrepresentation during booking.
Michael’s Seagal movie is Submerged. He likes to get tanked.

3. Damian F., 24, 4th-offense DWI and speeding.
Damian’s already on his 4th DWI charge at the age of 24, and he likes to drive fast while drunk. He is definitely Hard to Kill.

2. David T., 50, 5th-offense DWI, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, and driving with a suspended license.
For David, despite being a 5-time BACS veteran, the Judge Don Johnson Trophy this month was just Out of Reach.

1. Walter L., 50, 6th-offense DWI, driver’s license suspended/revoked, and failure to maintain control of a vehicle.
Walter is Driven to Kill … the competition, that is.