Well, I was actually planning on talking this month about the whole situation with John Dilworth and the East Baton Rouge Parish School Board and the issue of alleged micromanagement. However, seeing how we have bigger oil-soaked fish to fry thanks to BP, I guess I’ll have to let our cover speak for itself and leave the rest of the topic to local publications that pretend to care about that sort of thing.

Let me preface my comments about the unprecedented oil spill in the Gulf by saying that I am not anti-oil. I grew up along the coast south of Houma, whose economy is driven by petroleum. For many generations, most of my family has made a living in either the oil or seafood industry, both of which have coexisted rather well up until now.

Matter of fact, my father has worked in the oil and gas business for well over 35 years. Most of that time, he’s worked offshore on platforms and rigs, much like the Deepwater Horizon rig that exploded, killing eleven workers last month.

At the time of the blast, in fact, he was on a platform 25 miles away. Even at that distance, he and his crewmates could see the flames billowing into the night sky.

One thing about my dad is that he’s big on safety. I’ve never gone to work with him offshore, but I know this based on the numerous stories he’s told me. I can’t imagine how many young roustabouts he’s driven crazy with lectures about proper procedure after they cut a corner to save time and effort.

He’s like the Hank Hill of South Louisiana. Just replace “Heimlich County” with “Terrebonne Parish” and “propane” with “oil and gas.” If that’s not enough, I was a chubby only child with comedic tendencies. To top it off, my folks seriously considered naming me Robert (i.e., “Bobby”). Sometimes I think Mike Judge stole his ideas from my childhood.

So when he got back home after this happened, my dad and I started talking about both the ramifications of the blowout and its possible causes. Given that every deepwater drilling operation in this country has multiple systems designed to prevent this very sort of disaster (which BP declared last year as “virtually impossible”), he’s concerned that a shortcut may have been taken somewhere along the way.

That’s what happens when operators are pressured by the folks back at the home office to produce. Every hour that isn’t spent drilling represents thousands of potential dollars of profit not being made. It’s in that type of environment that otherwise safety-conscious workers and supervisors tend to not do things by the book.

He’s got some theories about what might have happened, but it’s probably going to be quite a while before we know what actually caused the disaster. In the meantime, I’ve got some observations about the ensuing oil spill.

First thing is the timing of the spill. I know the environmental folks are saying it’s especially bad since migratory birds are nesting as the oil is lapping ashore, but it could be much worse.

Suppose this had happened in August instead of April. As bad as a slick the size of Puerto Rico containing millions of gallons of oil just off our coast is, try adding a Category 4 hurricane to the mix. What’s worse than an 18-foot storm surge? How about an 18-foot storm surge of unrefined crude?

And while there’s never a good time to have an ecological/economic disaster, at least this one grabbed headlines right about the time some folks started complaining about the “detrimental” effects of windmills built miles off the coast of Massachusetts. What better to trivialize a bunch of privileged Nantucket Yankees’ hyperbolic bitching about a damn offshore wind farm impacting the environment and tourism than a flaming ocean of oil headed toward the shores of four states?

I also like how bright-side-looking optimists keep saying that it’s not so bad because it’s “light sweet” crude. “Light sweet” crude? It sounds like a brand of cigarettes. “Light up and enjoy Light Sweet Crude: Half the tar of Heavy Crude, but with all of the carcinogenic flavor.”

And of course, there are the partisans trying to spin this whole matter into “Obama’s Katrina.” At the risk of sounding like an Obama apologist, until he tells BP that they’re “doing a heckuva job,” it’s not his “Katrina.”

Sadly, I’m waiting for the truther and birther types to start promulgating conspiracy theories about the explosion. It’s just a matter of time before we see websites dedicated to “exposing the truth” about how Obama blew up the oil rig because he hates America, just like Bush blew up the levees in New Orleans because he hates black people.

If this is anybody’s “Katrina,” it’s BP’s. Initially, the company severely downplayed the potential impact of the spill, much like FEMA officials believed that New Orleans had “dodged a bullet” back in August 2005.

BP’s placed miles of inflatable booms to help prevent the oil from reaching shore. Unfortunately, high winds have driven the oil to crash over the booms. In other words, they’ve been “overtopped.” Sound familiar?

And much like the Blanco administration, BP seems completely overwhelmed by the unfolding catastrophe. Unlike former Governor Kathleen Blanco, who literally begged for help from the federal government, though, BP has been acting as though the situation is well in hand and it’s totally capable of handling it.

The company’s “I got this” attitude in the face of possibly the worst environmental disaster in the history of this country is beyond hubris. It’s kind of like if Joe Theismann had waved off the trainers on Monday Night Football after Lawrence Taylor snapped his leg like a pretzel stick.

Instead of admitting that the situation is beyond BP’s capabilities and accepting the numerous resources offered by local, state, and federal agencies (not to mention all the local fishermen eager to help save their own livelihood), the company has been insisting it can simply walk off a nausea-inducing compound fracture.

Then there’s the national media. If they’re not overplaying the disaster scenarios for ratings, they’re taking focus away from the most vulnerable parts of our coast and the impacts that will likely be felt there.

For instance, one of CNN’s meteorologists said that the oil slick was 70 miles from New Orleans. Really? Well, the slick is over 150 miles away from Baton Rouge, so I guess I shouldn’t worry, huh?

It’s just like their coverage after Hurricane Gustav — New Orleans is the only part of Louisiana worth caring about. Unless the streets of the Big Easy are under several feet of crude, it’s really not that bad.

Of course, there’s CNN’s resident Cubano Twitter geek, Rick Sanchez, who grew up in South Florida. While a guest on his show was enumerating all the detrimental effects the massive amount of oil would have on the area’s wetlands, fishing estuaries, oyster beds, etc., Rick interrupted him to ask about what might happen to all the beautiful white beaches in Florida, because marshes just aren’t sexy enough — like blinding white beaches — to really give a damn about.

While I’d rather not see a single drop of oil reach any shoreline, at least beaches are relatively easy to clean up. Basically, the sand would have to be scraped, removed, and replaced. Voila, oil cleaned from beach.