February is Black History Month, a commemoration originating way back in 1926 to recognize the contributions the African Diaspora has made to the continent of North America. (Yes, folks, our Canadian brethren observe it, too.) The question is: “Is Black History Month relevant?”

I’m not arguing against the understanding that, as a melting pot of a country, there will never be a time when humans are enlightened enough to stop grouping each other into specific generalizations based on melanin content and genetically preprogrammed physiology. But we’re all trying … kinda.

I mean, things have cooled down so much that the NAACP had to hold a media-flooded event where they symbolically buried the N-word in the hopes that black youth would quit using it in casual conversation. Life’s not perfect, but the NAACP is having to protest against other black people to keep themselves in the news. It’s not ideal, but man, it is a stretch away from black teenagers getting German Shepherds released on them just because they wanted to go to a school where the textbooks at least went up to the last twenty years of human knowledge.

Honestly, in a time when both the Democratic president and the head of the Republican Party are black men, do we really need to set aside a month to notice what the black community has contributed to society?

A recent survey of self-identified white, Republican conservatives recently identified a female black billionaire as the most important media figure in their lives. I think it’s safe to say America has taken notice.

Some may argue then, “What about the African contribution?” At this point in our history, unless you were born in Mexico, we identify you simply as an American.

For the young black man wearing the dashiki and the giant Africa-shaped pendant, might I suggest you take a plane ride to Monrovia and step off at the airport, where you are greeted by a 12-year-old with a coke habit and an AK-47 who calls himself “General Superman.” See how American you get in that first 15 minutes frantically searching for the U.S. Embassy.

“But it is important to recognize the contribution of minorities!” you say? Agreed. But at my high school, the population was 60% black and 40% other, which includes Asians, Indians, Eskimos, and suburban white kids like myself, making me, technically, a minority. No sane person on the planet would agree that at any point in the history of the United States would it be socially acceptable to refer to me as a minority.

So who do we turn to? Who is the “minority” in the current United States? Who is the minoritiest of the minorities?

The Saponi. And this month, instead of horoscopes, you each get a reason why. In fact, these guys are such minor minorities that you’re all going to have to share.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) AND PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Thanks to a little help from Uncle Sam, there are no longer any Native American tribes in West Virginia. They were all moved to reservations in Oklahoma and Kansas. Of the four that did exist, the least populated of them was the Saponi tribe. Why bring up West Virginia? Well, as of the 2000 census, the least populous minority group in the U.S. (ironically) was Native Americans. West Virginia ranked 51st on the list with less than 0.1% of its population being Native American.

ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19) AND TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): The Saponi language was a hodgepodge of different tribal languages as well as several words borrowed from a variety of African dialects. You read that correctly. The Saponi regularly sheltered escapees who introduced words. We’re talking about a group of people so low they received help from slaves that were still on the run from their masters.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) AND CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 1676, during Bacon’s Rebellion, settlers attacked the Saponi and came close to decimating the already low population of the tribe. The attack came in retaliation for several raids on the colonists. The only problem was that the tribe that had attacked them was the totally unrelated Doegs. The Saponi were just minding their own business.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) AND VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The remaining Saponi were forced to move onto a group of three tiny islands at the confluence of the Dan and Staunton rivers — islands they shared with three other tribes.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) AND SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Eventually, they had to settle around Fort Christanna in hopes the settlers who had almost destroyed them would offer protection from more hostile tribes simply because of their proximity.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) AND CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Eventually the majority of the remaining Saponi joined with the Iroquois, who then went on to fight in the American Revolution, for the British. The ones who survived were forced to move to Canada. So today, if you can claim true Saponi blood, you’re such a minority in the States that you may as well say you’re from Krypton. But hey, at least then people will have heard of you.