Was on a trip to San Antone,

1. To see the famous Alamo.
   

I made that long trip all alone,

1. To where old Ozzy had to go.
   

In seeing that most sacred site,

1. To every Texan, young or old,
   

I thought of that most fearful fight,

1. And of the heroes brave and bold.
   

Departing on the motorway,

1. I spied a girl with thumb held high.
   

I picked her up on that hot day.

1. A valley girl, who did not fly.
   

We lodged that night at Western Best.

1. A no-tell motel on the plain.
   

The fire was burning in my chest,

1. My britches bulging from the strain.
   

The night was one without a rest,

1. Throbbing, bobbing, till the morn.
   

My manhood measured to the test.

1. Dying, just to be reborn.
   

That next day on the desert road,

1. I heard a blowout in the rear.
   

My back was not up to the load.

1. There was no service station near.
   

That girl knew how to bust the nuts,

1. An expert with the one-hand jack.
   

She changed the tire as I smoked butts,

1. And grimaced from my back attack.
   

I owe her for the night we spent,

1. And for the day she also saved.
   

It was a sin I don’t repent.

1. I think it was my closest shave.
   

end