Louisiana is fertile ground for movie ideas. In a place where a typical sentiment is "I like my politics like I like my rice: dirty," one would expect a bit of color to be present in the daily goings-on of the citizenry.

By the way, a lot of people – men, mostly, but not exclusively – also like to compare the kind of women they go for to their preferred caffeinated beverage. You'll typically hear a guy say, "I like my women like I like my coffee: strong and sweet." My friend Patrick prefers his women like he likes his stove: hot and in the kitchen. Personally, I like my women like I like my spring mornings: warm and in a haze.

I've mentioned before some big studio interest in the life and times of our own Piyush (also known as "Bobby") Jindal. He's got that intriguing struggle that could make for the "great man" kind of biographical picture that Hollywood tends to make. They don't make these strictly to make money, understand, but to prove that movies are art, to justify their social significance, and to ease the conscience of the execs who green-light crap like Speed Racer.

So what kind of movie would Ridley Scott make for Lionsgate about our dear Bobby Jindal? Not that anyone has been named for the project, but we can speculate. Well, I'll let my man Morgan Michael Lewis, motion picture key grip and all-around eavesdropper, spill the beans:

"From what I hear, this Piyush-it character has got charm. Now, Ridley … um … I mean, a certain director I may or may not be working with, has been as busy as a one-eyed man at a burlesque show. Seems there'll be a scene where young Jindal takes his first steps and then, minutes later, declares his candidacy for president of the day care.

"The crowning moment, of course, will be the election to the governorhood of the great State of Louisiana. Bobby'll be going on about 'It's a great day for Louisiana! It's the dawn of a new era. Thirty days hath September, April, June, and no wonder! All the others have peanut butter, except my grandmother, and she has a little red tricycle.’ And then, after Bobby loses his bid for reelection, the duel with the alligator will be real impressive. I tell you, it'll leave you whomper-jawed. I ain't nev …"

Okay, I'm being told that I have to cut off my interview with Morgan Michael. It seems that there's some cigar-smoking studio know-it-all who doesn't want too much info leaked on his little Bobby project – which is a good sign: it means we're on the right track.

I've talked about comic book movies. Okay, movies based on graphic novels. No, some of them are comic book movies. Some of the works these films are based upon are elevated to the station of “graphic novels,” and on rare occasions, there are those works that are lofty enough to be referred to as "illustrated literature." I feel like sitting in a wingback leather chair and puffing on a pipe (a tobacco pipe, just to be clear) when I say that. All I need is a tweed jacket with elbow patches, but that does not make sense now.

The biggest openings in the business now belong to a hyperactive arachnid (151 million bones) and a flying rat (158 million!). There's no point trying to figure out the next big thing. We'll be hearing about Watchmen, Captain America, and The Spirit soon enough. I just want everyone to know that not only did The Dark Knight smash box office records, it is seriously being talked about for Oscar-worthiness.

Gone are the days of the four-color hero saving damsels in distress on newsprint. Today's comic book is deeper, more defined, and has the power to cover topics like gender discrimination in Iran, or the moral code of celebrity role models, or fecal fetishes in Germany. And the movies that spring from such fertile compost can make us laugh, or cry, or see eye-to-eye with a psychopathic clown. Ain't life grand?

And just to clear things up, I actually like my women like I like my coffee: hot, sweet, and in a plastic cup.