OK, I realize that the Red Stick is a conservative town. I know that men still don’t like to swear or curse in front of women, for the most part. We don’t like to talk about things that are uncomfortable or gross or impolite.

Maybe part of that is because we’re Southern, or because most of us are Catholic (which means we don’t talk about a lot of things), or maybe it’s just because we don’t know how to properly structure the sentences. Whatever the reason, I think it’s time we had a little talk. You and me, Baton Rouge. Let’s get this out in the open:

March 14 is “Steak and a Blow Job Day.”

Now, I know that most of you probably aren’t familiar with the topic. I went to college in a larger city, and that was where I first heard of the term, the holiday. And man, oh man, did it really make me feel uncomfortable. I mean, I may be able to write about sex here in this column, but I was much more reserved back then, and this, whoa, this really threw me for a loop.

It isn’t quite the antithesis of Valentine’s Day, but it has nothing to do with romance. No, this is all about red meat and a little tongue-and-mouth action. There’s no champagne, no chocolate; there aren’t any flowers, and there certainly aren’t any Hallmark cards. And after the main course, the only bending on knees to proposition that occur are women propositioning a little fun on both their knees, not just one.

Now, I realize that this may seem a little sexist. Hey, many women enjoy a nice filet mignon and oral sex, too! Who is to say that March 14 is all about men?

The answer is a little unclear, as everyone from Boston radio talk-show hosts to that creepy old guy who frequents college bars with his board shorts and double-popped collars (yes, that annoys me, too) lays claim to coining the day. While there’s no concrete proof as to who actually came up with it and anointed the day for men everywhere, there’s no doubt that it now exists.

But what is the point? What is the reason behind sanctifying a specific day out of 365 to give your loved one some good, old-fashioned, oral sex after a nice, juicy prime rib?

Well, supporters of the day claim that Valentine’s Day is all about the woman, and none of the dinner date or romantic banter (apparently not even the sexy lingerie she buys to celebrate the event) is at all enjoyable or fulfilling for the man. The creators say that “Steak and a BJ Day” is about showing your man how much he means to you by giving him the two things he loves the most but receives the least – head and red meat.

All extraneous reasons aside, I’m a big fan of this holiday, because, hey, I like sex (including the oral kind). That and I really, really like steak. I may come from a family of vegetarians, but I am all about medium rare. (There’s no sexual innuendo there. That really is just how I like my steak.)  And more than anything else, I don’t see anything wrong with celebrating a day that is all just about him.

If you’ve been reading this column for any number of months at all, you know that I’m a big advocate of the between-the-sheets action. Every couple needs some sweet lovin’/sex marathon sessions on a regular basis. Every woman needs a little TLC and every man a little oral appreciation.

So here’s my plea: if you have a loved one on March 14, celebrate this day. Bust out the meat tenderizer, the grill, and the mashed potatoes. Maybe even open up a nice Scotch or a heavy beer. And then, after you’re both well fed and happy, find it in your heart to get down on both knees and show him a little love. After all, there’s nothing to say he can’t return the favor after you’re done.

Normally, that would be it for me: a little humor, a little raunchy drivel to entertain you, but this month, I think we also need to take a minute or two to be serious (as best we can).

Sex, even oral sex, is great, but it is always much better when shared between two people in a committed relationship. And if you aren’t in one but still make up your mind to celebrate the holiday, use protection.

Oral sex is still sex. STDs like your mouth just as much as they like the rest of you. And if you’re with someone new, ask him or her to get tested. You two can go together.

If you don’t, you might end up spending next March 14, or February 14, alone with herpes. Because sex isn’t fun if it isn’t safe – Kama Sutra excepted.