Thanks to Robert Smigel and Saturday Night Live, everybody knows that Mr. T needs work. And thanks to the folks at Mars, Inc., the makers of Snickers®, he had work doing a hilarious commercial for the popular candy bar. Unfortunately, a group of over-sensitive sissies said the ad was homophobic; so now, Mr. T doesn’t have work with Snickers. Grrrr!

In the ad, the former A-Team actor crashes through a house in the back of truck equipped with a Snickers-shooting Gatling gun. As the truck drives down the street, the Mohawk-sporting, 56-year-old actor berates a wimpy-looking power walker wearing tight yellow shorts. Mr. T growls, “Speed walking? I pity you, fool! You’re a disgrace to the man race. It’s time to run like a real man!”

The man once known as B.A. Baracus then proceeds to pelt the guy with Snickers while yelling, “Take that, speed walker!” As the man begins to actually run, Mr. T roars, “Don’t do it again, or there’s gonna be trouble with a capital Mr. T!” The spot ends with Mr. T saying, “Snickers. Get some nuts.”

Sadly, this genuinely entertaining ad was pulled from British airwaves and globally axed after the U.S. group Human Rights Campaign criticized Mars for the commercial. HRC said the company was supporting “the notion that the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community was a group of second-class citizens.”

No, they didn’t. They were making fun of speed walkers, a group that more than deserves profuse derision. What does it say about our society when one of the greatest icons from the 80s can’t fire candy bars at a power walker without being called a homophobe?

Mr. T even felt compelled to take time out of his busy schedule looking for more work in order to clear the air on The O’Reilly Factor. “I am not homophobic, I am not a gay-basher. I didn’t say anything that was negative nor derogatory,” he told Bill O’Reilly. “I would never do a commercial if I thought it was offensive to anyone.”

Mr. T made sure everyone knew what the ad’s closing line truly meant. “The phrase ‘get some nuts’ refers to Snickers candy bar having more peanuts,” he told O’Reilly.

Damn, people. Clubber Lang ain’t got time for all that jibba-jabba on FOX News. He got fools to pity.

Now, because of all that back talk by those suckas at HRC, Mr. T has one less respectable, paying gig. Mr. T needs work. He had work, but he doesn’t have work anymore. We pity those fools. Grrrr!