December’s Sphincter has given new meaning to the term “boob job.” Not only did she get one, but in doing so, she “jobbed” her family, friends, and most of her community, and she made them all look like a bunch of boobs.

Trista Joy Lathern of McLennan County, Texas, recently spent $6,800 on breast augmentation surgery. Sadly (and ironically), the funds she used to pay for her enhanced chest were actually charitable donations raised to help pay for her breast cancer treatments.

Now you may wonder why a woman undergoing breast cancer treatments would even think about getting her breasts augmented, especially when she doesn’t have health coverage. Well, wonder no longer. Lathern never actually had cancer.

The 24-year-old did have a small, benign growth removed from her chest earlier this year. However, she told her recently wedded husband that she had full-blown breast cancer.

It seems Lathern’s young marriage was rather shaky and she, according to an affidavit filed by investigators, thought that if her husband believed she had cancer, it’d bring the two of them closer together. Just because she didn’t have cancer, it doesn’t mean the euphemism “the C word” doesn’t apply to Lathern.

Lathern then started telling everyone that she had cancer. She even shaved her head to make it appear she was undergoing chemotherapy.

Eventually, Lathern started sending out fliers soliciting donations to help pay for her “treatments,” telling potential donors that she was uninsured. Friends, family members, and total strangers gave money – in this tight economy – to what they thought was a worthy cause. Some of her coworkers at the Army and Air Force Exchange Service in Hewitt even donated their vacation time to her so she could take time off from work for “treatment.”

Then in August, more than 100 people showed up at the Hog Creek Icehouse Saloon in Waco for a fundraiser organized to help Lathern. Local radio stations even promoted the event. An estimated $10,000 was raised during the all-day benefit.

That’s when she apparently decided that, instead of trying to salvage her deceitful marriage by just faking breast cancer, she’d further try to save it by getting fake breasts.

Lathern went to a local plastic surgeon and expressed interest in getting her supposedly cancerous ta-tas enhanced. The surgeon, who knew of the all-day benefit, grew suspicious when she never mentioned cancer.

More suspicion was raised when she paid the $3,509 down payment for the surgery in cash. He thought the money might be stolen, which it effectively was. He passed the information on to his attorney, who then contacted the local sheriff.

Meanwhile, Lathern went to another plastic surgeon in Austin who performed the operation.

We’re not sure how she explained her new appearance to everyone who thought she had breast cancer, including her own husband. Maybe she told them that the cancer was so aggressive that perfectly proportioned, D-sized tumors developed overnight.

On November 4, Lathern was arrested for theft by deception and booked into the McLennan County Jail. When investigators questioned her, she confessed to the entire hoax.

As for Mr. Lathern, who told police he didn’t know his wife didn’t have cancer until they told him, he filed for an annulment on the day of her arrest and is seeking custody of their two young sons. It seems he wasted no time in cutting out the cancer in his life with a radical c–ntectomy.