The argument about whether water-boarding is torture or merely an enhanced interrogation technique has been getting a lot of play lately. Many conservatives hold fast to the belief that it is not torture, probably because that’s what the gospel according to former President George W. Bush says. That’s why what conservative radio host Erich “Mancow” Muller did is ideological heresy.

The Chicago shock jock voluntarily subjected himself to water-boarding live on the air. He said he did it to prove that it is not torture.

“They cut off our heads, we put water on their face,” Mancow said. “I really thought ‘I’m going to laugh this off.’”

The only problem is that the water-boarding lasted less than seven seconds before Mancow threw the toy cow he was holding as his emergency tool to signify when he wanted the enhanced interrogation technique to stop. He then dared to speak what many in the GOP would consider sacrilege.

“It was way worse than I thought it would be, and that’s no joke,” Mancow said, even saying it was more frightening than an incident when he nearly drowned as a child. “It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back … It was instantaneous … and I don’t want to say this: absolutely torture.”

The nerve of this heretic to not only question the canon that says water-boarding is not torture, but to actually undergo the procedure and, by admitting that it’s torture, make other water-board-defending conservatives, like Sean Hannity, look like even bigger douche bags than they already do.

A few days after his “experiment” and subsequent “confession,” Mancow appeared on MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann, a show hosted by Hannity’s archrival. Not only did the blasphemer continue to insist that the practice is torture, calling it “horrific” and claiming he felt the effects for two days, he even called Olbermann a “stand-up guy” for agreeing to donate $10,000 to a veteran’s charity after Mancow was water-boarded.

Those bastards! Olbermann had pledged to give that money to the charity of Hannity’s choice. Of course, Hannity would have had to follow through with his offer to be water-boarded for charity, but still, Mancow didn’t have to show him up like that. Damn showoff.

Even worse is the fact that Mancow and Hannity are friends. On Olbermann’s show, Mancow said Hannity called him up to say it’s still not torture.

That’s the problem with people like Mancow and others who have been water-boarded, like former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura and Vanity Fair writer Christopher Hitchens. These a–holes have the nerve to insist that the ordeal they personally endured is torture.

As a result, hard-core right-wingers who will never subject themselves to water-boarding (like Hannity) must assert even more vehemently that it is not torture. This, of course, makes them look like even bigger tools for arguing against firsthand experience when they have none. For the love of Ronald Reagan, people, quit getting water-boarded!