In the past, billboard giant Lamar Advertising has sold outdoor advertising to hookers in Texas and medical marijuana dealers in California. In über-conservative Colorado Springs, however, the line is apparently drawn at pink, fuzzy puppet cleavage. The Taliban would be so proud.

The company recently rejected a bus shelter advertisement for the touring, off-Broadway, Tony Award-winning show Avenue Q. The nixed ad, which has been displayed in numerous other mid-size cities across this great land, features the décolletage of the Muppet-like character “Lucy the Slut.”

“My lovely rep (at Lamar) didn’t have a problem with it,” said Kristy Maple, marketing director for New Space Entertainment, which is producing the show in several American cities. “We were in the process of putting it on the presses when one of the top execs saw it and said, ‘I don’t think it’s appropriate for the Colorado Springs market.’”

It seems Lamar believes Lucy’s ample pillows (which happen to be made from the same material as actual pillows) are too much for Colorado’s second-most populous city. After all, it is home to an unusual number of churches and conservative groups like Focus on the Family. Like we said, the Taliban would be so proud.

Seriously, though, how can Lamar say that a voluptuous puppet bosom (that looks more like a pair of pink Hostess Sno Balls) barely contained by a glittery bra is too risqué for any market? Miss Piggy’s been flaunting her porcine projectiles (not to mention her gamalicious ham hocks) in front of small children for decades.

Then there’s Kermit the Frog. For most of his 40-plus years, he’s been running around with his bare green ass exposed for the entire world –including Colorado Springs – to see.

This incident has proven what people in the advertising business have long suspected about Lamar: Instead of being controlled by a sensible companywide policy, standards are subject to the whims of its local managers. Case in point: Lamar account executive Jeff Moore and his “rationale.”

Moore told the Colorado Springs Gazette he has a simple test to determine what’s appropriate for bus ads and billboards. “If I have to explain it to my 4-year-old or my grandmother, we don’t put it up.”

In other words, a billion-dollar corporation, based right here in Baton Rouge, is effectively leaving critical business decisions in the hands of two people with virtually no pop-culture awareness, limited buying power, and occasional bladder-control issues. Moore must have to schedule such screenings between episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba! and The Waltons.

The “offensive” ad has since been replaced with posters that show Lucy’s fellow puppet stars. One of the revised ads promoting the production, which bills itself as “60% adult situations and 40% foam rubber,” features Rod, a well-groomed, buttoned-up, closeted gay Republican. Sounds like a great fit for the market.