We’re not sure if they have late-night TV commercials advertising penis enlargement products in Indonesia. If they do, guys who’ve ordered and used them can forget about a career as a police officer in the Indonesian province of Papua.

The chief of Papua’s constabulary, Inspector General Bekto Suprapto, recently announced he’s barring men who have enhanced their member from joining the force. In other words, Suprapto won’t enlarge his unit with men who’ve had their units enlarged.

An applicant “will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged,” Suprapto said, according to an Indonesian website. “If he has, he will be considered unfit to join the police or the military.”

The reasoning behind the ban is that the unnatural size causes “hindrance during training,” said a police spokesman. Sounds like they’ve had recruits accidentally grab and fire the wrong weapon during training exercises.

Suprapto is being picky about pricks despite an apparent need for more troops. Due to a low-level insurgency in that part of Indonesia, there is a heavy police and military presence in the country’s easternmost province, which is home to Papuan tribes, many of whom are known for wearing penis gourds.

The Papuans use a local technique to achieve the enlargement, according to sexologist Dr. Boyke Dian Nugraha, by wrapping the penis with leaves from the “gatal-gatal” (itchy) tree so that it swells up “like it has been stung by a bee.” And all Smiling Bob had to do was pop a few Enzyte pills. No wonder he’s so damn happy.

The fact remains that Suprapto’s policy discriminates against wannabe cops with artificially augmented nightsticks. Plus, the policy seems counterintuitive.

There are definite advantages to having a police force comprised of guys who patrol while packing meat as well as packing heat. For example, even if such a policeman somehow loses his department-issued sidearm or he runs out of ammo, he still has a deadly weapon in reserve.

Also, supremely endowed cops could also help with public relations. While not all police officers are jerks, every department has more than its fair share, and chances are, their attitudes stem from being shorted by the phallus fairy. Perhaps bigger dicks could help some cops act less like … well, dicks.