What better way to cap off 2007 than with yet another Hollywood starlet getting arrested for DUI? This time it was Mischa Barton who batted her bloodshot peepers at the mug shot photographer.

The 21-year-old actress was pulled over just before 3am on December 27 after police witnessed her car weaving back and forth as she drove through West Hollywood, California. According to authorities, Barton failed to signal when making a turn, and her vehicle was straddling two lanes of traffic. Like most young actresses, she apparently likes to straddle things after a night of partying.

Barton was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor drunk driving after failing a field sobriety test. The English-American actress, best known for her portrayal of Marissa Cooper on FOX's defunct teen drama The O.C., spent about seven hours behind bars.

Ironically, her character on the show died in a car crash. We’re not sure if it was alcohol-related because no one from Red Shtick watched the show. None of us could afford to sacrifice that many brain cells.

According to one police source, a Breathalyzer test revealed Barton’s blood alcohol level to be .12 percent (.08 is the legal threshold for intoxication). The source also reported that Barton admitted to earlier smoking marijuana – which cops found in her car – and was in possession of what looked like prescription drugs in an unlabeled bottle.

Barton was ultimately charged with counts of driving under the influence, possession of illegal narcotics, and driving without a valid license. A court hearing was scheduled for February 28.

After being released on $10,000 bail, Barton was picked up by her mother in a black Mercedes, in which the actress was spotted lying down in an effort to avoid detection. If you’ve ever wondered what the “O.C.” in The O.C.really stood for, now you know: Overprivileged Caucasians.

As for our local BACS contestants, this month’s batch was surprisingly and overwhelmingly weak. Compared to normal months, this group didn’t have any real whoppers. It seems like people were partaking more of the holiday spirit than the distilled varieties.

You won’t find us complaining about this relatively abstemious state of affairs. However, sober people aren’t nearly as amusing as the belligerently drunk.

That’s why, in honor of the return of one of the best shows in the history of TV, we’ve attempted to fortify the entertainment value of this month’s BACS by assigning an American Gladiators name and event to each entrant. So, with that being said…Gladiators, ready!!!

Our top ten contestants were arrested and booked for suspicion of driving while intoxicated according to The Advocatereports from November 26 – December 23, 2007.

10. Lacie Leigh D., 26, 2^nd-offense DWI, improper lane usage, reckless operation of a vehicle, and drinking in a motor vehicle.

Obviously, Lacie’s Gladiator name would be Lace. Her signature event would be Hang Tough since, when it comes to drinking, she’s tough to hang with.

9. John Kirby J., 27, 1^st-offense DWI, flight from an officer, aggravated battery, resisting an officer, and obstruction of a public passageway.

John seems to have some pent-up rage. Therefore, we believe his Gladiator name should be Fury. When you consider that he seems to enjoy hitting other people, he’d likely be great at Assault.

8. Robert Charles J., 28, 2^nd-offense DWI, resisting an officer, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, failure to yield to emergency vehicles, reckless operation of a vehicle, and driver’s license expired.

With all those police sirens, what better name for Robert than Siren? Plus, just like the original Gladiator Siren, who was deaf, he can’t seem to hear them. Robert’s event is Atlasphere, because when he drinks and drives, he’s in his own little world.

7. Isabel Rubio T., 26, 2^nd-offense DWI, hit-and-run, resisting an officer, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, open-container violation, seat belt violation, license plate required, and driver’s license required.

Isabel is probably too young to remember the original Gladiators, so she gets a name and event from the new NBC series: Mayhem and Hit and Run.

6. Natasha Paige T., 20, 2^nd-offense DWI, failure to maintain control of a vehicle, negligent vehicular injuring, and driver’s license not on person.

Just ask the occupants of the other vehicle, and they’ll agree that Natasha has earned the moniker Crush. She’s apparently very proficient at Whiplash, too.

5. Christopher Sterling O., 21, 1^st-offense DWI, failure to stop or yield, illegal possession of stolen things, distributing or manufacturing a Schedule I drug, distributing or manufacturing a Schedule II drug, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Either Ice or Blaze would fit Christopher, depending on whether he was in possession of crystal meth or weed. And with all those drugs, Christopher would likely enjoy listening to Pink Floyd. Thus, his event would be The Wall.

4. Jason Michael Z., 26, 3^rd-offense DWI, failure to signal, improper lane usage, and reckless operation of a vehicle.

Jason’s Gladiator name is Gold, because that’s the color of so many of his favorite drinks: Cuervo^® Gold, Johnnie Walker^®Gold Label™, and, of course, beer. His event is The Eliminator since he has to eliminate a lot of gold after all that drinking.

3. Preston Daniel G., 23, 3^rd-offense DWI, following too close, and driver’s license suspended or revoked.

Preston sounds like a pretty boy who likes to drink rum. Therefore, we’ve dubbed him Malibu. Joust is his event because, while in jail, he almost certainly got pounded with another man’s big stick.

2. Whitney Stewart M., 22, 3^rd-offense DWI, reckless operation of a vehicle, and driving left of center.

Since he’s 22 and reportedly orders doubles, Whitney’s Gladiator name is Gemini. Fortunately, no one was coming the other way while he was driving left of center. Otherwise, they would have found out why his signature event is Human Cannonball.

1. James Wesley M., 41, 4^th-offense DWI, improper lane usage, open-container violation, and suspended driver’s license.

This Gladiator of the BACS has gotten hammered so much, he’s earned the handle Hammer. This month, he showed why he’s the master of Breakthrough and Conquer.

Congratulations, James Wesley (aka “Hammer”). You’ve won this installment of the Blood Alcohol Championship. We’ll all be looking out for you on the roads. To claim your trophy, simply pick up a copy of Red Shtick and cut it out. Just be careful not to cut your finger in the process.