In May 2007, Red Shtick publisher Jeremy White criticized the prognosticational prowess of Livingston Parish fortune-tellers. He questioned their ability to predict the future after no one from their industry appeared to oppose an ordinance that would effectively outlaw their livelihoods.

It would seem White owes them an apology. Maybe they didn’t waste their time and energy fighting the Livingston Parish Council at the time because they knew all along that this month’s hero would ultimately come to their rescue.

Cliff Eakin, a Wiccan priest and Springfield resident, is suing the parish over the ordinance on behalf of his business, Gryphon’s Nest Gifts. In the suit filed January 2 in U.S. District Court, Eakin asks the court to declare the ordinance unconstitutional, issue a permanent injunction prohibiting the parish from enforcing the ordinance, and assess damages. The suit also claims the ordinance violates Eakin’s right to free speech and that he should be allowed to perform divinations for profit within the parish.

The ordinance, passed unanimously last spring by the council, states: “No person shall engage in the practices of soothsaying, fortune telling, palm reading, clairvoyance, crystal ball gazing, mind reading, card reading and the like, for money or other consideration.” Keep in mind, the folks running Livingston Parish passed this brilliant measure without a single dissenting vote.

Eakin maintains that divine inspirations channeled through Wiccans should be just as legal as messages from God that are received and relayed by Christian ministers. While Eakin usually gave free divinations at his metaphysical shop in New Orleans, he asserts that Wiccans should be allowed to accept small contributions for their work, much like Christian churches accept tithes and offerings for theirs. “To dictate what you can and cannot do in a spiritual sense” violates constitutional rights, he says.

Mr. Eakin – or is it Reverend? – says that he knows of at least 100 other Wiccans residing in the parish. Many of them, he says, are afraid to publicly avow their beliefs. In much the same way Chinese Christians are reluctant to profess their faith openly for fear of persecution, Livingston Parish Wiccans feel they must don cloaks of anonymity rather than the traditional cloaks in keeping with their beliefs.

In his suit, Eakin states, “The intent of the Parish Council in passing the ordinance was to promote Christian mythology over paganism.” We applaud him for standing up for the rights of the burgeoning Wiccan community in Livingston Parish by daring to say things that might result in a visit by the nearest Klan faction.

You don’t have to be a Wiccan to be thankful for Eakin’s suit. There are a lot of other everyday acts that could be deemed violations due to the rule’s vagueness. “The ordinance leaves only an individual law enforcement officer to determine whether a particular conduct qualifies as ‘and the like,’” the suit claims.

For example, when sports commentators predict the outcome of games, technically, they’re getting paid to predict the future. When winning lottery numbers are selected by a person rather than randomly by a computer, someone has made money through numerical clairvoyance. And if a Livingston Parish resident has only one extra LSU ticket, and three of his friends want to go, he better not say, “I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 50.” Otherwise, the friend who wins will get something of value as a result of mind reading.

It seems Eakin’s actions have prompted the folks on the council to reconsider the legality of the measure. Only weeks after the lawsuit was filed, the Livingston Parish Council, at the urging of their attorney, voted 5-2 on January 24 to hold a public hearing on February 11 to discuss repealing the ordinance.

The council’s attorney, Blayne Honeycutt, recommended that the ordinance be repealed. He predicted that his client would likely lose if it tried to defend the suit. Of course, some insist that Honeycutt’s foretelling of a defeat in District Court is a form of fortune-telling, especially since he’s a lawyer and was undoubtedly compensated for such a service.