It was a long, hard road, but finally, we are getting the recognition we deserve.  Last year, we broke into the Top 10, and this year, we almost nabbed the Number 1.  Of course, I am talking about Baton Rouge being the second-most dangerous city in America.  It just brings a tear to my eye to see how this community came together to make a run for the championship.  Personally, I don’t think we should see this as a loss.  We gave it a heck of an effort, and we should all be proud.  Las Vegas:  Look out!  We are gunning for you next year!

Frankly, I am surprised College Drive road rage didn’t make us a clear-cut number one.  I know it was only a few short years ago that they finished all of the “improvements,” but as anyone who has ever driven anywhere near College can attest, nothing has ever been improved there.  Before you can even get to the nightmare that is College, you have to get off the Interstate.  There is nothing better on a Saturday night than sitting in the far right lane, backed up to the split, praying to God that the guy going 85 in the huge, jacked-up, pickup truck with a Skoal^® logo across the front windshield can stop in time.

I think we all know that the answer is to put up red light cameras to catch people running the red lights there.  It doesn’t matter that the only way traffic moves there is when three or four cars run the light.

Here’s a little note to the traffic planners:  Having 5 traffic lights within 50 yards is NEVER going to help the flow.  Furthermore, having all 5 lights turn red at the EXACT same time isn’t what synchronization is about.  This is just a thought from a sarcastic, smart-mouthed jerk, but maybe, if you let the light ahead turn green first, some of those cars will move out of the way, so that those people at the next light can start going when it turns green, too…

However, with every win, there must come a few setbacks.  We dropped to the Number 91 spot in the Top 100 Cities in Teeth Health.  Personally, I blame myself for being a big part of the decline.  I am fairly certain my teeth are made almost entirely of gypsum.  (I know you probably don’t get that, but somewhere, there is an Earth Sciences teacher laughing, and a dental hygienist shaking her head.)  My teeth are so terrible that I have to be jealous of the guy that lives behind the bus station.  I will make this promise, though: With the help of my new dentist and, most likely, a loan from my credit union, we can easily rank back in the upper 70s by next year.