I usually don’t use this forum to address letters to the editor in our local newspaper, but have you read the opinion section of The Advocate recently? I don’t know if people are getting dumber or just bolder in broadcasting their idiocy. Either way, the number of letters that make me cringe has been on the rise as of late.

Many of these letters were prompted by bills being debated in the current legislative session. Imagine that – the Louisiana Legislature motivating people to willingly spout ignorance.

The first such legislative issue revolves around House Bill 1295, which would repeal our current motorcycle helmet law. Rep. M.J. “Mert” Smiley (R-St. Amant), author of the proposal and a longtime motorcycle rider himself, wishes to see us return to the days of the Foster administration, when motorcyclists could ride around on our state’s impeccable roads and highways without the protection of a brain bucket.

Smiley’s bill inspired a few folks to express their opinion about the matter, some saying that all riders should be required to wear helmets because statistics prove they save lives. Others insisted that it’s a matter of personal choice and that the government shouldn’t dictate whether or not a rider dons a helmet.

One reader, though, in attempting to argue for less government intrusion into our daily lives, stumbled on the precipice of logic and fell into the abyss of absurdity. This wunderkind argued that not only should riders not be required to wear helmets, but that she should have the right to ride in a car without a seat belt.

Personally, my inner libertarian would lean toward the argument of personal choice if not for the fact that medical bills stemming from injuries sustained in crashes by helmet-free motorcycle riders and unrestrained car passengers are often footed by taxpayers like me. However, out of concern of being dubbed an absolute moron, I would never publicly declare that I should have the right to disregard the known laws of the universe, like inertia.

Furthermore, if a person is so obtuse that he proudly and profoundly proclaims his ignorance of the most fundamental laws of physics, not only should he have the right to engage in an activity that would expedite the purging of his DNA from the gene pool, I believe he should be encouraged to do so, just as long as everyone else is free from any physical or financial repercussions. That science-stupidity chromosome is wreaking havoc on our society.

Speaking of science, The Louisiana Science Education Act has certainly provoked an inordinate amount of impassioned correspondence. Thanks to Senate Bill 733, authored by Sen. Ben Nevers (D-Bogalusa), it’s been nearly impossible to get through an issue of The Advocate without encountering at least one fervent letter to the editor regarding the inclusion of creationism in our public schools’ curriculum.

Many feel the measure, which seeks to “promote student’s critical thinking skills” by allowing “open and objective discussion of scientific theories” and the use of “supplemental textbooks and other instructional materials,” is actually a stealth bill. They contend its true aim is to permit the instruction of religion-based theories, such as intelligent design. The fact that Nevers’ bill has been ardently supported by pro-creationism groups like the Louisiana Family Forum does nothing to deter that assessment.

Subsequently, the flood of printed public opinion on the matter has been of nearly Biblical proportions. One particular letter, entitled “Faith offsets lack of doctorates,” gave me such pause, it damn near turned me into a pillar of salt.

The author of the letter, who admittedly didn’t get his GED until his mid-40s, declares, “I don’t think God was thinking of science when he created the earth and all that was in it.” He goes on to admit, “I’m certainly unaware of the mountain of evidence supporting the concepts of evolutionary theory,” but then affirms, “I believe the entire Bible is the inspired word of God.” He concludes, “Rock-bound faith and belief in an almighty God…more than offset the lack of PhD’s.”

Something tells me the Louisiana Department of Economic Development will not be using this missive in their effort to lure high-tech companies to our fair state. While “rock-bound faith” is a marvelous and admirable attribute, most executives don’t consider it a relevant job qualification.

And, of course, there was the obligatory letter to the editor from a retired engineer. (No opinion section would be complete without one.) This composition attempted to debunk the idea that humans are at least partly responsible for global warming by pointing out that the earth has cyclically warmed and cooled for millions of years.

Unfortunately, half of the letter was dedicated to discussing a backstory involving the “Li’l Abner” character Fearless Fosdick. And people wonder why fewer young folks are reading newspapers.

Let me share some friendly advice to all those aspiring opinion-piece writers: If you plan on using pop-cultural references, you might want to avoid ones that faded into obscurity during the Truman administration.

As for the writer’s contention that we shouldn’t buy into the “hysteria” of global warming, nor should we “wreak havoc on our economy” by attempting to mitigate greenhouse gas emissions, allow me to take liberty with a phrase frequently cited by the aforementioned Bible-thumping ilk: If you’re living your life as if there is no global warming, you’d better be right.