It’s not often that we have the occasion to sing the praises of the leaders of the oft-misspelled and oft-mispronounced parish of Pointe Coupee. Hence, we’re taking full advantage of this rare opportunity by featuring the Pointe Coupee Parish Policy Jury in this month’s “Hero Highlight.”

While most political bodies waste time debating trivial matters like public services and economic development, these brave souls displayed courage and conviction by tackling one of the greatest problems plaguing our communities today. On Tuesday, July 24, a day that will surely live in perpetuity, the Pointe Coupee Parish Police Jury unanimously agreed to pass an ordinance prohibiting the donning of excessively baggy pants in public.

The seminal moment came in the form of a 10-0 vote, with two members absent, to adopt the measure proposed by Police Juror Russell Young. Young’s ordinance could very well provide the impetus necessary to reverse the continuing decline of Western Civilization.

Young’s measure was modeled after the one recently enacted in the über-progressive town of Delcambre. Under the Pointe Coupee ban, a first-time offender faces a misdemeanor summons. A person caught playing “grab ass” with his baggy trousers a second time may have to pay a $500 fine or spend up to 6 months in jail.

During the hearing, Young said he proposed the ordinance in response to complaints from “decent families and communities,” and he expressed his desire for every city and parish in Louisiana to adopt such a restriction. Furthermore, even though the Pointe Coupee sheriff would enforce the new law, Young said he’d like to see state lawmakers deploy state police to the area for a month, in order to monitor the situation and send a message to the populace that the council isn’t taking this issue lightly.

Young even displayed ethnic versatility by borrowing a phrase from Roberto Duran when he said that it was time for the parish to say “no mas” to the excruciatingly offensive fashion faux pas. How poetic that he would quote a boxer in an attempt to prohibit the exposure of boxers. Clearly, Mr. Young’s eloquence and forward thinking make an exceptional argument for designating New Roads as the new cultural hub of the South.

Police Jury President Melanie Bueche argued that the hip-hop-culture-inspired fashion fad is not only distasteful and damaging to our society’s moral fiber, but it’s also a safety hazard. She said, “One nearly got run over by a car crossing the street and his pants fell down, and another one, whose pants got caught up in a bicycle chain and he nearly ran into the path of a car.”

Imagine how much our society might suffer had one of these two, fine, upstanding citizens met their demise, simply because they wanted to emulate rap culture couture. For all we know, one of these young men may cure cancer or solve the world’s energy problems one day. How shameful would it be if such advancements were never realized because community leaders didn’t have the foresight to prevent the youth from wearing their pants in such a manner?

Even members of the media can benefit from the Police Jury’s actions. The exposure of this measure aimed at curbing exposure has given bored headline writers and reporters a chance to display their humorously creative side. When else will a correspondent who normally covers murders and robberies be able to report, “Fashion police will be soon be cracking down to prevent waisted youth”?