Typically, it’s the actions of drunk drivers behind the wheel that earn them a mention in the BACS. This month, however, West Virginia’s Jose Cruz gets our honorable mention, thanks in great part to the legally unprecedented charges levied against him by law enforcement officers after his booking became a fetid fiasco.

According to the criminal complaint filed in Kanawha County, police stopped Cruz’s Mazda 626 on Route 60 in South Charleston after they observed him driving with his headlights off. Upon approaching the car, a patrolman “observed a strong smell of alcohol coming from the window of the vehicle.” This would prove to be only the first of many strong smells they would encounter that night.

For the last several editions of Red Shtick Magazine, this honorable-mention portion of the BACS has featured various drunk drivers from around the country, including a few celebrities. This month, however, we’re focusing on everyday folks from the Baton Rouge area, thanks to some exceptional boozin’ & cruisin’ done right here in the capital region.

Just because you’re a Kardashian and featured in an E! reality series, it doesn’t mean you’re a bona fide celebrity. This is especially true when you’re the younger, less attractive sister of Kim Kardashian.

Perhaps this was the motivation behind Khloe Kardashian’s decision to violate her 3-year-long probation stemming from a March 2007 drunken-driving arrest. At a July 3 court hearing, the 24-year-old daughter of O.J. Simpson’s defense attorney Robert Kardashian admitted that she failed to complete a roadside cleanup duty and enroll in an alcohol education class.

In case you didn’t know, June was Black Music Month. Therefore, it’s rather fitting that we have two BACS honorable mentions from the world of hip-hop that were collared last month for DWI.

Many rappers are known for wearing lots of showy jewelry. Thanks to the po-po, Mrs. Snoop Dogg and Young Jeezy got to wear some additional gleamin’ bling on their wrists after each of them were arrested for driving while crunk.

To borrow a phrase from Saturday Night Live’s Seth Meyers, this month’s BACS honorable mention accomplished a veritable “trifecta.” As a result of a DWI arrest, a New York City Congressman has not only admitted that he has been having an extramarital affair with a divorcee, but he also has a 3-year-old love child.

On the night of April 13, the Denver Nuggets defeated the Houston Rockets by the score of 111-94. For Nuggets All-Star Carmelo Anthony, however, his 11 points on 3-for-11 shooting that night proved to be his worst game of the season.

He was evidently quite disappointed in his substandard effort, because hours later, the former Syracuse Orangeman was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. It seems that, in order to help alleviate distress stemming from a poor performance, Carmelo likes to get “Melo” in his car.

It seems fitting that this month’s BACS honorable mention was arrested in the “wee” hours of St. Patrick’s Day. Just before 3am on March 17, the California Highway Patrol said “top o’ the morning” to Thomas Elliot, better known as Thomas Jane, actor and husband to Medium star Patricia Arquette.

In 2000, when LSU quarterback Josh Booty threw an ill-advised interception in the closing moments of the University of Alabama at Birmingham game, it was returned for the winning touchdown. As Tiger fans exited Death Valley following the 13-10 loss to the Blazers, many of them wished they could have gotten their paws on the Evangel Christian Academy product.

All sports have rules that require enforcement by impartial arbiters. The BACS is no different. While baseball umpires wear blue and football officials wear stripes, BACS referees wear badges and carry guns.

What better way to cap off 2007 than with yet another Hollywood starlet getting arrested for DUI? This time it was Mischa Barton who batted her bloodshot peepers at the mug shot photographer.