This month’s hero proves that young ladies today still have positive role models worth emulating. They don’t have to settle for human train wrecks like Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and Tara Reid. While those skanks were sauntering in public, getting photographed with exposed nips and naughty bits, this woman demonstrated true poise and grace under “fire” amid a dermatological hell, assumingly perpetrated by an unidentified, jealous rival.

In the midst of competing for the title of Miss Puerto Rico and the right to represent her country in the 2008 Miss Universe pageant, Ingrid Marie Rivera was the victim of cosmetic and wardrobe sabotage. During the pageant on November 23, someone apparently doused her clothing and spiked her makeup with pepper spray, causing her skin to burn and break out into hives. Her condition was so severe, in fact, that, once backstage, Rivera had to strip off her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body in an attempt to cool the burning and reduce the swelling.

Pageant spokesman Harold Rosario said, “We noted that when she finished applying makeup and went to get on stage, she began to get red in the face, on the back and shoulders – everywhere she had applied makeup.” Rosario also said that promoters and makeup artists of rival contestants are prime suspects.

Officials with the pageant, with the help of local police, are investigating this “vile act,” as well as an alleged bomb threat called in the day before. Additionally, they’re looking into the mysterious disappearance during the swimsuit competition of a bag containing Rivera’s clothes, makeup, and credit cards.

Despite this “Caliente Conspiracy” to thwart her dream, Rivera maintained her composure onstage before cameras and judges throughout the pageant. She eventually went on to win the competition, thus confirming the notion that, while beauty may be painful, being an ugly loser is excruciating.

Fernando, of “Fernando’s Hideaway” fame, certainly would have been proud of this “spicy” Latina. He always insisted, “It is better to look good than to feel good.” In other words, no matter what tragedy befalls you, the most important thing is to look drop-dead gorgeous while suffering through it.

Rivera’s performance under nearly insufferable conditions has set a sterling standard for all ambitious, overachieving women in a dog-eat-dog world: If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the evening gown.