It’s the dawn of a new era! It’s a great day for the state of Louisiana! It’s the golden age of the small and silver screens once again, as the fertile field that is Louisiana politics attracts movie studios like cows to a verdant meadow.

Sure, we all know the turbulent mess that was the state and local handling of Hurricane Katrina made (and is still making) plentiful – if not good – news stories. It was only a matter of time before those bozos that run Hollywood studios wanted a piece of the lucrative action that is a true tale of sorrow, suspicion, and untold heroism.

(Quick aside: Why, you might be asking, would I, Jimmy Faux, fan of all things Hollywood, refer to the Hollywood studio producers and executives as “bozos”? Well, long story short, let’s just say that I have a screenplay that has been rejected a few…ahem…dozen times. Yes, it was brilliant! Yes, it was a guaranteed Oscar winner! Yes, it had a naked Katie Couric! It was rejected! 37 times!!! BUT I’M NOT BITTER! But I digress.)

Look for a Katrina story coming from at least one major studio. I haven’t seen any treatments the big companies have in store, but Sweetbread Pictures has a working script that features the likes of Cathy Bates as Kathleen Blanco and Charlton Heston as George W. Bush. Okay, maybe that was an old script. I think Gallagher will be the president in this one.

Also, talks are in the early stages, but look for the big biopic featuring the story of our current governor, Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, to be working its way to the big screen. The big news for this one is the music. The movie soundtrack will be good as gold. Salt-n-Pepa will remake their classic hit into a more Jindal-friendly jingle. It won’t take long for you to be walking down the street listening to everyone around you singing “Piyush it!”

Crawfish for Kids

No sooner had FOX approved the new cartoon Mudbugs! than the Young Cajuns Alliance formally protested the network’s choice. The cartoon features a family of four crawfish making their way through life in what they believe to be a swamp, but it is actually a rich city man’s swamp exhibit. Apparently, the YCA (not to be confused with the douche bags of the Yachting Club of America) is concerned because they think kids will become too attached to the cartoon crustaceans and not want to dine on the shelled creatures at crawfish boils.

I’ve seen the show, and I don’t think the YCA has anything to worry about. With names like Crawdaddy and Crawmommy, the parents aren’t going to win you over with their clever charms. I think little sister gets boiled in the third episode, anyway.

(And yes, the Yachting folks have earned my wrath, as well. Just because a boat requires [at least] one and a half oars to propel it, that doesn’t mean it’s not a yacht. Sure, some of the other boats were two or three or twenty times as big, but size isn’t everything. Well, when it comes to boats, I mean…I’m going to shut up now.)

No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition.

That’ll do it for your friend the Faux this month. I’ve got to go out and get my mom a Mother’s Day gift while I still can. She keeps talking about getting some new china, so I’m going to get her a gift certificate to the Panda Express. That oughta please her. After that, I can concentrate on wooing Alyssa Milano…and getting around her restraining orders.

See you in thirty!