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German Talis
Sphincter SpotlightBy Editorial Staff

People who propagate 9/11 conspiracy theories are definitely a different breed. In fact, some might argue their beliefs alone would qualify them to participate in the Special Olympics. This month’s “Brown Eye,” though, has astonishingly managed to make most 9/11 “Truthers” look like the late William F. Buckley.



According to the New York Post, 22-year-old German “Gary” Talis was arrested on April 22 for allegedly punching an 18-year-old, wheelchair-bound Bush supporter. Talis was heckling First Lady Laura Bush and daughter Jenna outside the 92ndStreet Y as they were leaving a promotion for their new book, Read All About It.

Wendy and John Lovetro and their daughter Maureen, who has cerebral palsy, had been in the audience and were near Talis when he was shouting obscenities at the Bushes. Mr. Lovetro told the loser to shut up, insisting the women were there for a children’s book.

"He began yelling about Iraq and Iran at Jenna Bush. She was waving at the crowd. I told the guy, 'What are you doing? Shut up. This is about a child and books,'" said John Lovetro. “I said, 'Get out of here! You're being a moron!'"

That’s a pretty astute assessment of Talis by Mr. Lovetro. Heckling and cursing the president’s daughter in an effort to convince others to listen to your outrageous message is indisputable proof of social retardation.

After being told to pipe down, Talis then reportedly began hitting Maureen, who has been a fan of Mrs. Bush since meeting her in 2004.

“I heard my daughter hysterical yelling, ‘He’s hitting me!’” said Wendy Lovetro. "He punched her on the shoulder blades, but that wasn't enough," she continued. "My husband pushed the wheelchair away from him and he reached beyond my husband and began pounding my daughter in the thigh."

The two men reportedly fought as the president's family drove off. Cops broke them up and busted Talis on charges of assault and resisting arrest. Fortunately, Maureen was not seriously injured.

Not surprisingly, Talis and his colleagues at We Are Change dispute the story as told by thePost, the Lovetros, and the NYPD. They claim that Talis is the real victim, insisting Mr. Lovetro was looking for a fight and tried to use his crippled daughter as a weapon by ramming Talis with the wheelchair.

On behalf of the rest of the country, please excuse us if we’re hesitant to believe a bunch of 9/11 conspiracy theorists’ account of an event that took place in New York.

So far, no footage of the alleged beating has surfaced to corroborate either party’s version of the incident. Even if they did get their hands on such a video, Talis and his Truther nut buddies would surely point out innocuous features on the recording to “prove” that the real perpetrator of the attack was George W. Bush.

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This article was originally posted on May 02, 2008

 
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