You probably didn’t catch the Italian version of Big Brother this year, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still get a piece of it for yourself. Turns out, one of the contestants is offering up her virginity for the first lucky guy who can cough up the cash.

Raffella Fico told the celebrity magazine Chi she’d give herself to any man who could come up with her asking price of roughly $1,500,000. While, here in the states, that would qualify as prostitution to even the most stalwart of New York politicians, so far, there haven’t been any objections from the Italian government. President of the Italian Republic Giorgio Napolitano has even stated that “although [he] wouldn’t dive in for the initial run, he would offer her $250,000 and a nice bottle of Chianti for sloppy seconds.”

Her brother has played the part of the willing fishmonger by stating, “She’s never had a boyfriend. I swear on my mother’s grave. She’s a devout Catholic and prays to Padre Pio every night.”  While their mother’s corpse had no comment, Pope Benedict XVI responded, saying, “I’m not interested. It’s not the money thing – I’m loaded; it’s just she’s awfully old for me, and even if she wasn’t, I’m not that into Italians.”

In a slightly more erotic story, police in Portage, Wisconsin have been charged with violating a 59-year-old man’s constitutional rights after they secretly videotaped him having sex with his comatose wife. Nurses tipped off law enforcement after David W. Johnson’s visits became more frequent following his wife’s stroke and subsequent lapse into a comatose state. Head nurse Latrelle Andrews stated that she got suspicious when he “started bringing flowers and champagne into the room and closing the door for hours on end.”

Johnson responded by saying his wife has become far more attractive to him in recent months. “I can’t put my finger on it. She looks the same, but now, I can watch whatever I want on TV. And we don’t have to go to her mother’s on Sundays anymore. Oh, and the anal. That’s something new, as well.”