ARIES (March 21-April 19): With the Moon in Virgo, we can see the world as the imperfect place that it is, but this doesn't mean that we need to point out the shortcomings in every conversation. And conversations will abound! With Venus moving into restless Gemini, trying to catch up to Mars, who is already there, we may be attracted to one idea after another and, therefore, can find it difficult to settle down. We become attracted to the exchange of ideas. We lighten up, become more curious, and even entertain the possibility of…oh crap…you are NOT going to let him put that in THERE.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may feel more vibrant than usual as Venus enters your Second House of Personal Values, where it stays for the next few weeks. Problems can arise if there is something happening that is out of your control. Even if you try to head a potential problem off at the pass, it will still impact you in a personal way. My advice? Start swinging now! Be the Bull you are and TAKE what you want! Be like Mike Tyson…just try to keep the biting to a minimum.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Even if you have lots to do today, you'll still probably find time to daydream about your sex life. Regardless of what others may think about this kind of activity, it's important that you allow yourself enough time to let your imagination float fantasies up to the surface. But you now have a tendency to embellish the facts a little with your own added bits of information. And these added bits may not be totally factual. Sure, your fantasies can inspire others, but sooner or later you'll need to dance to the music that you write at this time. Face it, dude: regardless of what you've been told, size does matter.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It will be easy for you to express yourself now. No matter who you're talking to, they'll automatically understand what you're trying to say. Pick up the phone and have that conversation you've been putting off. Call him or her. Go on, brush yo’ shoulders off.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): It may be difficult for you to keep your mind on your day-to-day affairs now, even if your intentions are good. It's just that you feel like you want to create something new in your life, and you know that it's going to take some time. You are inspired by the possibilities in your own future. This can distract you from the work you should be doing, as you conjure up schemes for your big adventure. Have you thought it all out? Figured in the cost of THAT much lube? Allow yourself the luxury of dreaming about the future, but don't forget about your responsibilities in the present moment.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It can appear that you don't have your feet on the ground. However, this is a classic "don't judge a book by its cover" day. You are not as you appear to others. Your imagination can be the source of vision and inspiration. Just because your ideas now stretch things wider in scope than usual, this doesn't mean that they lack either merit or practicality. Don't let others talk you out of your vision. It doesn't have to (O) ring true for them – only for you. Mmm, hmmm.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You Librans are the relationship people of the zodiac. Now, a romantic spark may get ignited, and you could have a choice to make. You can either pour water on it to extinguish the potential, or you can gently fan the glow until a flame is created. It may not seem like it, but the decision is really up to you. If you choose to pursue this fascination or infatuation, just remember that you don't need to push as hard as you think you do. Your gentleness and kindness will be rewarded. Personally, I say don a plaid skirt; it'll throw some gasoline on that ass.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your unexpressed fears have more impact in your daily routines than you might realize. The annoyance today is that it's difficult to keep these fears quiet. But expressing them won't necessarily get you what you want. So, what do you do? Open it up and put it out there on the table without too much expectation? Or keep it tightly wrapped up, waiting for a more opportune moment? As much as you might like the power of right timing, circumstances may now unwrap you enough to get your balls rolling. Just relax...relaaaaaaxxxx...mmmm...goood...now it's unwrapping.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sometimes you are amazed at your own cleverness, or is it luck? It's hard to tell. Regardless of how much responsibility you have in manifesting things in your life, you now have even more potential to create a new level of magic, especially in the department of romance. This can also be expressed via artistic creations. The bottom line is that your sense of vision is expanded (along with various orifices), as is your ability to communicate what's on your mind. Remember, leather shrinks when wet.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don't worry if it feels like you're not getting everything done that you think you should. Although you may be getting messages from the cosmos telling you to loosen up, this isn't the easiest thing for you to do. You have too much at stake to just go with the flow. After all, you don't even know where the flow will take you. You would feel better about it all knowing that you were controlling the direction of the flow yourself. The cosmos kind of sounds like a creepy Catholic priest here, but don't delude yourself into false feelings of grandiose power. You may be strong, but sometimes you just need to float downstream without purpose. You might even enjoy yourself.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Dream a little dream for your own well-being today. Give it to yourself as a gift. Although there may be lots of activity that is still stirring up the circumstances of your outer world, the focus now is on your creativity. Contact the magic within your own imagination, and then reach out to others and touch them with your "awareness."

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It's a special day for you Fish, for you can be of the world and not of it at the same time. Most of you Pisceans live more easily in the dreamtime than in the outer world. The difference today is that you can give voice or form to what you've been imagining. Your poetic and musical abilities are greater than normal…especially during sex. You can entice others with the mental pictures that you paint with your words; just don't paint too graphic a picture, or you'll end up finishing them off before you have a chance to enjoy them.

Phil is a gentle giant and the Shtick's resident psychic adviser. Just think of him as Miss Cleo; only white, male, and NOT indicted for scamming. Share your soul with him at phil@redshtickmagazine.com.