Porn stars are like most lawyers: They make a living screwing other people. Typically, though, adult entertainers do so in a more traditional sense. One particular starlet, however, recently engaged in behavior more characteristic of those who get paid to carry briefs than those who get paid to take theirs off…and then get into someone else’s.

According to the Tennessee Highway Patrol, Justis Richert, whose stage name is Barbie Cummings, was stopped for speeding in her pink Honda Accord on May 7 near the intersection of Highway 840 and I-40 outside Nashville. Perhaps next time an attractive woman is spotted driving a pink vehicle, we shouldn’t simply assume she’s talented at selling cosmetics.

The state trooper who pulled over Cummings, 40-year-old James Randy Moss (no apparent relation to the troublesome NFL star), was later suspended and eventually fired by the THP over allegations that he let a drug possession charge slide in exchange for oral sex from the porn star. The state of Tennessee is also considering criminal charges against the ten-year veteran for allegedly tossing Cummings’ bottle of prescription pills into a nearby bush…on the roadside, smartass.

How did this officer of the law get caught with his pants down? This little slut actually had the nerve to post a detailed description of the encounter on her blog at BarbieCummings.com! What an ungrateful little bitch!

Not only has she ruined Moss’ career, but she’s probably destroyed any chance of anyone else ever getting off by getting his or her arresting officer off first. Even worse, some cautiously horny cop might promise to let a woman slide for a BJ, but when the deed is done, take her ass into custody anyway. Cummings’ actions could lead to some women wearing both a pair of handcuffs and a pearl necklace in the back of a cruiser.

In her blog, which was subsequently taken down and replaced with a message that the site was under construction, the 21-year-old Cummings wrote that, when the officer asked her if she had drugs in the car, she admitted to having some “happy pills.” “I sometimes have these pills as I may take one or two before going to the club,” she posted in an entry dated May 7. Of course, Moss’ citation fails to mention finding any such drugs.

When the trooper informed the Knoxville resident that a drug charge would prevent her from legally leaving the state, Cummings replied that such a restriction would be a problem, since she frequently travels to Los Angeles for her work.

“I tell him I make dirty movies,” Cummings wrote. “He says he wished he had gotten into that industry.” In other words, instead of going into law enforcement, which protects and serves, he wishes he had gone into a field that focuses solely on servicing. But what red-blooded male cop doesn’t fantasize about replacing his siren’s “woo-woo” with a sultry “boom-chicka-wah-wah” once in a while?

Cummings, who’s reportedly under an exclusive boy-girl performing contract with BlacksOnBlondes.com, claims that she and Moss then watched some of her sex videos posted on her website on the laptop computer in his unit…his patrol car, smartass.

“Then he asks me, what does it cost for someone like me to get anything like you,” Cummings wrote. Apparently, his price for one of her “jobs” was his own.

So from now on, if we at Red Shtick ever happen to catch Miss Cummings on the wrong end of an extreme penetration and/or excruciating dilation in an adult movie (possibly at one of our “editorial meetings”), we certainly will have no empathy for her plight. In fact, some of us may secretly wish for the infliction of permanent damage. After all, we feel she has it cumming in the end.

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