By Antonio Winnebago
How often do you find yourself driving in your car and you
see the traffic light turning yellow, so you speed onward, passing under the
light just as it turns red, and you think, "That was stupid. Why did I do
that? Am I in such a hurry to get where I’m going that it’s worth risking my
life, barely getting through this light as it turns red? I’m not doing that
anymore!" And then you look at the rear-view mirror and see a car
behind you, in no particular hurry, going through the same red light after you, and there’s another car, also in no particular hurry, leisurely driving
through the red light, behind the car that’s behind you.
Sometimes
people act like they don’t have the God-given sense to come in out of the rain,
even though, evolutionarily speaking, we’re the most intelligent life in our
solar system (which isn’t saying much when you consider that scientists would
be ecstatic just to find a live amoeba on the planet Mars.)
It’s a
well-known fact that humans only use a tiny fraction of the human brain’s
capacity. If you’ve ever heard some of the things Ray Nagin has said in public,
you know exactly what I’m talking about.
One of the
greatest brains of all time belonged to Albert Einstein. Einstein was very
smart, but more importantly, he looked like a genius, what with all that
gray hair sticking up all over the place. When you turn on a light or watch a
movie, you probably think of Einstein – although I can’t figure out why you
would, because those were both inventions of Thomas Edison, who was no slacker
in the brain department, either.
Einstein’s
principal contribution to mankind was the creation of the atomic bomb. Now, it
would be small-minded of us to think less of Einstein simply because the most
practical application of his most famous invention was to kill hundreds of
thousands of people and level an entire city. If you will recall, Einstein also
postulated the theory of relativity, which has many other useful applications…that
I can’t think of at the moment…possibly the creation of more nuclear weapons.
Albert Einstein died in 1955,
but the story of his brain doesn’t end there, because even though Einstein is
no longer with us, his brain still is. For this, we owe a great deal of
gratitude to Dr. Thomas Harvey, the doctor (at least until his medical license
was taken away) who conducted the autopsy on Einstein after his death. Harvey thought it would be
a neat idea to take Einstein’s brain home with him, which he did.
He kept it in two glass jars,
occasionally delving out slices of the brain to researchers interested in
studying it. He even took the brain on a road trip, in a plastic Tupperware®container stashed in the trunk of his car, to visit Einstein’s granddaughter. (I’m
not making this up. There was actually a book about it, entitled Driving Mr. Albert, by Michael Paterniti,
which chronicled this adventure.) After 40 years, Harvey
finally turned over what was left of the brain to a pathologist at PrincetonUniversity, where, hopefully, it is
under tight security. We certainly wouldn’t want a brain like that falling into
the wrong hands.
The brain is a
resilient organ. Just look at George Foreman, former heavyweight boxer, who
spent many years in the boxing ring, having his head pounded on, but was still
able to retire from professional boxing with enough brain power left to name
all 30 of his children George. Not only that, but he is also largely credited
with developing one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century:
the George Foreman® Grill. Well, maybe he didn’t actually invent the
grill himself, but give the guy some credit for being in boxing that long and
still being able to appear in advertisements, without shaking, to promote the George Foreman Grill.
Just what does
it take to be a genius? Next month, we’ll try to find the answer to that
question by profiling other people who are often placed in the “genius”
category. We’ll also take a look at the different parts of the brain and learn
how they function together to make possible such things as Jackass: The Movie (the original and Number Two).
Until then –
don’t do anything stupid.
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August 03, 2007